Heart

Heart

Beating,

I'm alive

But dead inside. 

Heart

Cramped up

Pain

Exploded 

In my chest. 

Heart,

Shrinked

Left vacant

No one is there

Heart

Someone

Please 

Fill it.  

Who Will?

I thought the world would end on christmas, but I was wrong. The day still goes on without a single care of what we might think of it. And no matter what I do, time just wont seems to stop. We - I’m still here. Living this unforfilling life. I bet the teacher don’t even care that I quit classes, what about my classmates? I guess they don’t even recognize me being their classmate at all. Honestly, I don’t seems to care anymore. I wouldn’t mind living or keep going with my life. I’m just like the rest of the people continuing on living like nothing happened. I still have to take injections, still have to wake up, eat, sleep and do my chores like I used to. My search for the truth slowly die out and I don’t even care for the answer anymore. I just want to live a peaceful life. Not just that, but I wish I wasn’t such a coward. A coward that doesn’t give a damn about how my life is going to be like. A coward that doesn’t make a change for myself or not giving enough effort to be a better human. I guess, I’m just being cynic about life and its contains. I just want it all to stop, just stop for a moment so I can catch my breath. I wonder if there’s someone out there who is waiting for me to walk by them, and make it all go away with a single touch. Yes, just a touch that would melt my heart and heat up the frost that lies in there. 

Time is so cruel when it’s slowly ticking away when I want it to move faster, and it’s playing a trick on me, when I want it to slow down it’s moving faster. It doesn’t co-operate with me at all, that just makes it harder and frustrating - unbearable. But still, I have to continue relying on it to keep me going. I wonder who is out there. Who is waiting. Watching and admiring me. Who will? 

Wanted

She is somewhere around the corner. Perhaps near the edge of the world. She might be waiting or rushing through the day free like a bird. I would like to know what she is doing and all the most what hides in her mind. I want to look through her eyes and see what she see. I want to feel with her heart so it can touch my soul. I want too much, but my desire shattered like glas hitting the floor. If you crack my heart open, you will see longing drips like tear drops and fills the river with loneliness. 

She is somewhere, so close but yet so far holding the key to the magic door to my heart. 

Strength

Sometime I wonder what makes me strong, but unluckily I still haven't found out the answer to that yet, on the other hand I think my strength come from the people that is most important to me. They whom stands beside me at all cost. And for that, I'm grateful for their existence.

Dance With Joy

In this time of silence
I checked in with my soul
I heard it call out my name
trying to get my attention
to tell me how important it is to

wake up and get going.

It nearly beg me to listen
for the clue it has lay on before me
I leap through the field and ignored the voices
Dancing happily with my soul
before I get back

to sleep.

Melody To My Song

I sought out for words 

to describe the feeling 

this song gave me,

but my words just scattered 

the sentence doesn't become a sentence, only

words that lies here and there. 

Eagerly waiting for me

to put it in the correct way 

so it will become a full sentence.

I forgot how to tune in with my heart,

I forgot the melody it sings to me

Oh, where are the notes,

the sheet of notes to my song.

How can I even forget such important thing! 

- Amaia Jenin

In Deep Silence

Dear Beloved,

In silence, deep silence, I hear your whispering voice calling out to me. I waited and waited, long and longer for the night to end and the day to pass so I might see you again. You have appeared before me countless of time in my dreams. You’re just like a reflection in my heart where you will never disappear. I couldn’t find words enough to describe how magnificent you are to me. Even if I write it down or sing it out, it will not be the same as the image I have of you inside my mind. Your image emerge before my eyes every time I close it, and you burn as a candle in my soul. My soul takes fire because of you, and no river or ocean can demolish it. My burning desire takes root inside my heart where no one can pull it out.

I’m the river and you the ocean, we are link to each other, because river stream will always flow out to the ocean, like boat takes sail in the sea and finally have to come back to shore. You pull me out of my hallucination and created reality in my dreams. I emerge myself in your reality, and finally found myself lost in myriad of dreams with you. I don’t want to be awake nor asleep, but staying watchful of my imaginations about you so I’ll never forget how sweet your face looks like. In the meeting with you, I begins to build a castle inside my heart. This place will never gets old or worn out, even if you takes your leave and disappear for a while. My heart is your home and your soul is my temple, even if I gets lonely and homeless in reality, I’ll bow before your temple and smile, your kindness bear witness to the brilliant home I’ve build for myself below the azure sky; everywhere I go is home, and I know I can take shelter in your temple. This is the truth of the truth I shared with you.