In Deep Silence

Dear Beloved,

In silence, deep silence, I hear your whispering voice calling out to me. I waited and waited, long and longer for the night to end and the day to pass so I might see you again. You have appeared before me countless of time in my dreams. You’re just like a reflection in my heart where you will never disappear. I couldn’t find words enough to describe how magnificent you are to me. Even if I write it down or sing it out, it will not be the same as the image I have of you inside my mind. Your image emerge before my eyes every time I close it, and you burn as a candle in my soul. My soul takes fire because of you, and no river or ocean can demolish it. My burning desire takes root inside my heart where no one can pull it out.

I’m the river and you the ocean, we are link to each other, because river stream will always flow out to the ocean, like boat takes sail in the sea and finally have to come back to shore. You pull me out of my hallucination and created reality in my dreams. I emerge myself in your reality, and finally found myself lost in myriad of dreams with you. I don’t want to be awake nor asleep, but staying watchful of my imaginations about you so I’ll never forget how sweet your face looks like. In the meeting with you, I begins to build a castle inside my heart. This place will never gets old or worn out, even if you takes your leave and disappear for a while. My heart is your home and your soul is my temple, even if I gets lonely and homeless in reality, I’ll bow before your temple and smile, your kindness bear witness to the brilliant home I’ve build for myself below the azure sky; everywhere I go is home, and I know I can take shelter in your temple. This is the truth of the truth I shared with you.

Sweet Melody

Because of you I had tasted euphoria,
in my tears there were happiness.
You bring so much joy into my life
and to loose you I have known bitterness.

Sweet surrender,
you have come to release me from
my haunting past.
Every moment I think of you,
I savor it in my heart.

Your beauty are as the bright sun
blinding my eyes.
To know you is to know love
and love is a desire
which I secretly keep inside my soul.

I promise myself
to never let those sweet memories
to fade away;
it’s something to remember
and dream of every single day.

Fire burns down the walls
I build to keep me safe.
Strange is love that makes me sway.
Just with a wiff of air
my kisses are blowing away
with the wind that convey my vows.

I will love you until my last breath,
when time cease to exist
and the world stop moving.
My vow is beyond eternity
far greater than the universe;
because you have brought heaven to my home.

Let’s mend together and be inseparable -
like the air we are breathing.
Death is nothing to fear,
because we are as one in this lifetime.
Let joy be our song -
and love our melody.

Ocean Of Love

Beloved,

I'm floating on air - sky high. Deep down I know that I will fall, fall into love and let myself sweep off my feet by the glorious sky. I immerse myself in your love pool and drink all that I can drink.

"I want to bombard you with my love to make sure that you get enough."

Everything in this world is not only black and white. The skies can go from pink to violet and from violet to golden light. This world is colorful once you put on your love glasses and sees with your inner eyes.

When you dip into the ocean of love, bathing yourself in joy and delight, you will find how smooth the water makes your skin to feel, and once you get back to shore, your heart will absorb every love vapor that is left into itself to lessen your thirst for more love.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

You're My Miracle

Beloved,

Now that we're about to merge as one, I'll with my harp, dedicate a special song from my heart space sanctuary to you. This is the overtone of truth and unconditional love I desire for you to hear. I just want to make it simple, because I know you won't likely understand that much of what I'm saying if I complicate it with words and phrases. When the world is too much and people judge your actions, remember to dive deeper into my ocean. Throw yourself into my arms where you will find comfort and encouragement to continue your long hard journey back to your inner shrine of Miracle.

I kept my promises, as your lover, I've always been there watching over you. I've seen your tears when nobody seems to understand why you're crying, but I understand the reasons and your frustration. Your longing for me has made you depressed and I saw your desperate need to be loved and accepted. You isolated yourself in a corner to protect your inner light, me, but there's no need to hide yourself in the shadow any longer my dear. I ensure you that I know who you are. There's no need to be someone you're not. You've been sealed off and trapped by the ego self, and I'm here knocking on your heart to tell you that I'm home, embrace me into your being, believe in Miracles, and you will be who you are meant to be.

Who else are you going to be but Miracle?

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

A Beacon

Dear Beloved,

Because of my curiosity I've reached the point of true knowledge. Love is my knowledge and freedom is efficacious to my soul. Bad habits seem to fall away by the wayside. I rise yet again to a new morning of glory and meaningful moments embedded in my memories. New memories are like snowflakes melting in my mind and they're stored like healing water inside my heart where happy tears joined together to create a healing river through my eyes.

I understand how wonderful life is when everything flows easily without me trying to control my own fate. Fate is my life and this too goes hand in hand. I created my life just the way I want, with light and love. My life is one with all lives. One with nature, one with small creatures as tiny as a bug.

Butterfly lives for short while, but in a significant way. They created harmony in the nature and leaves traces of fairy dust wherever they fly. We are like the butterflies, but we haven't seen ourselves as butterflies, because we're still frightened of our transformation from a caterpillar to a butterfly. We must first accumulated lots of healing energy to create a cocoon to feel protected before we can see our own transformation being transmuted from fear to love. We are the butterflies, and there are no reasons to reject the thoughts of fear.

Fear is only a wayshower, it gives us more insight on how to choose a better life once we see it for what it is; it acts only as a barrier to secure us from harming ourselves. Why would we want to harm ourselves when we know that love is behind our fear making sure that we won't be harmed by false ideas about ourselves. Love is surely within our heart, it is our divinity we are protecting with our strength.

We don't need fear to create more havoc in our lives, but to gently move it away from the wayside. Fear is like the potholes we see on our path, and when we see it, we rather choose to walk around it than falling into it. Because love will make sure that we will follow our path with ease and joy. It whispers sweet wisdom into our ears. We must be silence and listen well before we take another step further along the road. We will not fall if we were to be guided by our own heart. Love will make us meager but not at all weak, because it's our strength we are carrying within us.

Love are we, we are love. Then fear is nothing great to be feared, because love is far greater than any emotion. It's more than emotion alone, it's fuel to drive our souls further into the higher realms. If we wait long enough to let love talk through our hearts, we will be enlightened and more in tune with the universe. Love is what sustains us, it takes one barrier at a time away from our hearts. We had built enough walls and isolated ourselves long enough. It's time to leap through the fence of ignorance and arrogance and be as a beacon to enlighten our next generation. We are adequate enough to live a momentous life of our own. They're worth all the effort we are here to make; Heaven on Earth.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Jeg Elsker Deg

Kjære Elskede,

Jeg surfer på kjærlighetsbølgene inn i ditt hjerte min elskede, for selv om jeg ikke kan svømme, og bølgene er store, vil jeg fortsatt står med stødig bein på bølgene. Jeg vil la den ene bølgen etter den andre bringe meg nærmere deg.

Kjærlighet er det jeg har og kjærlighet er det jeg gir. Jeg ønsker ikke å gjøre noe annet enn å be, be for ditt velvære og din trygghet. Jeg drømmer ikke mye enn å bringe fred til verden og lykke til mine søster og brødrer. Drømmen kan være uvirkelig, men virkelig nok til å realiseres. Alt jeg har igjen er bare noen få ord, ord som kan beskrive det jeg føler, men tre ord er nok for å kunne beskrive kjærligheten; Jeg elsker deg.

Men vet vi egentlig hva "jeg elsker deg" bety? Det er så lett å si ordene, men er det lett å følge den? Hvorfor har det vært slik at vi slutter å elske etter en stund når forholdet går dårlig? Det er kanskje ikke kjæresten vår vi har elsket, men følelsen av å være forelsket? Vi slutter aldri å elske, selv om forholdet kan ta en slutt. Kanskje det er oss selv vi bør elske først slik at vi kan gi mer mening til de tre ordene "jeg elsker deg"

Jeg mener fremdeles at ubetinget kjærlighet varer evig og det er den som er ekte. Hva annet ville vi gjøre hvis vi ikke elske oss selv først? Vi vil visstnok elsker et annet menneske også, men vi må først være ærlig med oss selv om den kjærligheten vi gir er rent og ekte. Og ikke er betinget med at den andre skal forandre seg enn da vi først møte dem. Da kunne vi like godt ha funnet vært sammen med et annet menneske som er akkurat slik vi vil at de skal være.

Vi kan ikke forlange våre elskede å elske oss ved å prosjisere vår frykt på ham/henne. De har nok med deres egne. Men det vi prosjisere er det vi må lære å elske i oss selv. For det vi ser utenfor oss, er det som er inni oss.

Kunne du tenker deg å forandre deg selv til ære for din egen elskede? Og ikke forlange at hun/han skal alltid være der 100% hele tiden for at du skal kunne føler deg elsket. For noen ganger kan vi stenger våre kjære inn i et hjørne og gir dem en byrde å bære på. Det er vår egen frykt på at de skal forlate oss, men hvis du ikke bekymre deg over det, er det rett og slett en bra ting, men fortsetter å lære av dine egne opplevelser uansett hva som kommer til å skje med deg.

Jeg kan skjønner at de ville ha nok gjort alt for å se oss leve et lykkelig liv, men det er ikke deres ansvar, det er vårt eget ansvar å se til at vi er lykkelige i hverdagen. Vi må kanskje også være ærlig med hverandre i et forhold for at den skal kunne fungeres. Ærlighet og åpenhet om følelsene, men når et forhold tar slutt, så er det vel slutt. Det er ikke mye vi kan gjøre med saken, bortsett fra å fortsette å leve. Vi gjør det tross alt for den vi elsker. Forsørger på at vi skal kunne leve et bra og lykkelig liv, hvem vet, kanskje de vender tilbake og ønsker oss i deres liv igjen.

Jeg aner ikke hva jeg skriver om. Det føles ut som mange kan sliter å være åpen og ærlig i et forhold noen ganger. Mest når vi er sjalu og frykter for å ende opp alene. Ensomhet er det som griper taket i de som frykter for å miste.

Jeg er visstnok en av dem, men jeg har lært å elske uselvisk og ubetinget. For jeg elsker en akkurat nå, uten så mye som å være sammen med henne. Vi er ikke i et forhold, men jeg klarer ikke å la være elske henne for det om. Det er visstnok enveis kjærlighet, men kjærlighet er kjærlighet, en vei eller to vei.. samme hvilken vei, jeg går ihvertfall ikke tilbake i mitt ord og utsagn - jeg elsker deg.

The Vibration of Love.

The sound of love rings in my ears, vibrating throughout my body and it leave traces of electric vibrations to encircle every inch of me. My heart's beat beats joyfully in ecstasy when you're near me, it's just like a butterfly meets another butterfly when they're fluttering around and saluting each other into a beautiful sunrise morning.

My love for you is like those colorful butterfly wings, creating dynamic movements in a gracious manner to move ever closer to heaven. You're heaven, and earth is your oases. I live between both worlds in wonder and amazement.

You're the winged one, the ultimate love for humankind and for all creatures. Your love for the whole universe is for us lovers to indulge ourselves into and get spoiled for being the sons and daughters of God.

I'm in deep gratitude for your living existence. You're visible to innocence eyes to see how wonderful it is to live in harmony with Mother Earth. The word of love bear no burden to anyone who knows the truth of it. And what is the truth? The truth is surely not like anything of what we already know, because it's beyond human conception.

We must find the truth within our heart to grasp and to even understand your magnificent love and beauty which you had stored and painted with each gentle stroke in the scene before our very eyes. The beauty of nature and the sweetness in a little child's smile is painted by you, the benevolent one. What we see around us is what you're revealing to us. The good and the bad, but in short terms, whatever it is, it is unconditional love. It is what it is.

We must not only see it, but feel it as well. That's how brilliant your love truly is. How can I describe it? Please sing through me, because I loved the tunes you're playing with your harp. It creates harmony in my mind and reminds me of the love that I'm possessing myself.

"I always played with my harp, to guide you, you've been listening, and you listened well, because you are singing the song by being that which you are. You're the almighty I am, that I am. Grasp it, know it, understand it with your heart, it's everything for me. Your heart, is everything to me. The one thing I treasure about you, and the secret to it, is, I treasure everything about you. Don't search for any other love that is more dynamic than the Divine Love. Don't search for any other truth, than the truth of the heart, and this is if you really want to live in harmony with anyone, you shall then be faithfully to your heart, thus faithfully to me. That's the only thing I ever wanted for you to be. Trust in yourself, even if you doubt for a moment in silence and won't utter a word to anyone else but yourself, trust in your own knowing and intuition, because I convey my message through your with all that I am. Grasp it, know it, and contemplate on it. Trust and faith are what you need when you're in a frustrating state of mind."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ

My Sweetness.

When the holy bell rings, arise my love, my Miracle, do not look after me, just know that I'm your shadow, I will follow you with each step you take. I might not be your prince in this lifetime, but I'll certainly love you as a lover loves himself.

When the holy bell rings twice, and darkness surrounds your being, don't look down my love, look up to the sky where all stars lies.

When the holy bell rings the third time and you haven't seen the sun yet, don't be anxious for me, my dear; your shadow. Know that the moon will lighten up your way as you look forward without any doubt of what to do, march now towards your goal with easy steps.

The moon and the stars lend me a helping hand to be there for you every step of your way in the dark hours. This is my promise; light is always within your heart. And you will see the sun in a different light, for it will be lightly caressing and kissing your skin with its warmth when it rises again in the morning.

There is so much love in this universe for you to indulge yourself into. Ask and you will receive, knock and the door will be open, believe and you will see. Have faith, if not in me, then at least in yourself. Remember what I told you, be your Higher Self and remember your royalty. I've known you long before we met, and that is what I see in this lifetime, when I look into your eyes.

We are as one in two bodies, and the love I feel deep down my heart, is the love I know you have within you as well. That's the only reason for me to believe in you. I believe you can make wonder wherever you go, by merely be there with your royalties and beauty without even to saying a word. Your presence is enough for a man to bow his head to silently or even loudly contemplate the love and beauty in his own inner Goddess.

If you still can't hear the holy bell ring in your inner ears, knows that deep down you already are the holy bell when you spoke words of wisdom and clarity with your soft firm voice. Your love for the world is what sustain you and it's what remain inside my heart endlessly.

These words are not written to be read out loud for those who can't read only, but also to those who can't hear to silently feeling the vibration inside their core. They all know about Miracle and I pray, they might also understand what Miracle stands for. Who are they? Little did they know, that Miracle is in their hearts and they too must believe in themselves to understand that they are Miracles as well.

That way, they will protect you... my Miracle, my love. I ask them to keep this little secret, to never speak of you in an ill manners. Because you're to me Holy and you're to be holy, complete and whole; in all ways.

I ask of you, to see yourself as whole and holy, sit on your throne and know your worth, that's the only way you'll protect my kingdom of heaven and me with my Miracle without any fault. Remember this little secret that I yearned to whisper in your ear if I was to be there beside you; Miracle is you, you're Miracle; Whoever you think you are.

Tell me now, what do you want? Tell the universe of your desire, Miracle, and always focus with accuracy of the thing you wish to have and know with certainty that you will receive it. Feels it, that you are the lover of my life, and you shall be treated with respect and honor.

Why wouldn't I give my lover what she so dearly desire, didn't she know that I AM her Universe and she is my sweetness I secretly tucked inside my own inner depth of soul?

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

I'm Your Shadow, You're My Light.

I sat by the riverside and watched the midnight sun fade into the night sky, in that moment I made a true revelation of our love for each other. I realize that I'm your shadow and you're my light. By the morning I'll be your light and you my shadow at night - we have never been separated even for a short moment. We are one breath closer to each other than what I ever thought we were. We are so entangled as one soul in two bodies that we couldn't discern ourselves from each other.

Every breath you take is me breathing into your existence. Our love is fulfilled and we have our midnight sun in our day to day life time, in darkness I'm your light, and in the morning glory you're my shadow all over again. We'll forever be as one uniting under and below the heaven skies.

You're beautiful. Your light shines through, and even the darkness couldn't encompass you, because I'm your lens. It's by my burning desire for your well being in all ways that had made me completely desire less and humbled. Your will is my will, without you I'm merely darkness who knows nothing about true inner light; you.

What I've been seeing without me was truly something within me. I who craved to taste euphoria, hasn't yet tasted it, but bliss has followed my path and watched over my happiness. I needn't return to take another road, but walking firmly forward with full faith and trust in you; divinity.

Must there always be light in your life, so you will always see me, your shadow.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Empty Your Heart for Worries

Listen, my Love. Empty your heart for worries and let your mind rest. Let your soul breathe and give me your sorrow. I want to make you feel at ease.

Nothing is certain. Not for today, neither tomorrow. What you think might not turn out the way you want it to be, but I know you still want to do it anyway.

And I support you, for what reason is there not to? When all you do is given away your love and light. I know you the best, because I am your Lover, am I not?

The one whom have been there for you when tears kept falling down your cheeks? Who gently caressing you when you needed a hug? Who listened to you when nobody does?

Me, your Lover.

So don't be afraid to open up your heart, empty it with worries. I will fill the void for you with love and nothing but love. I have done it before, and I am willing to do it again.

Standing beside you, supporting you. And in time of need, I will devote all my time to you. Whenever you lack courage to do what your heart yearned for, I will give you a push and whisper hope in your ear.

"Don't be afraid, your love is light shining up the way," said the beloved moon.

"And I am here, I am right here for you, encourage you to do what your heart desire," twinkled the bright brilliant star.

See, even when the night has fallen down the city, you are still protected and cared for. Your heart will beat joyfully and your smile will lit up the whole world to see. That's why I tell you, my Love, don't be afraid to open up your heart and empty your worries -

give me your sorrow and worries.

You are loved and cared for.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Min Hverdag Og Eventyr På Moder Jord.

I dag følgte jeg lillesøsteren min og datteren hennes til togstasjonen. Jeg var ikke alene om å ta følge med dem, men moren min og mine to nieser var også med. Vi tenkte først at vi skulle ta bussen ned til byen også deretter ta bussen videre til strandtorget, men jeg tenkte på Kimmy som har med seg barnevognen og selv om svogeren min ville ha kjørt henne tilbake til togstasjonen, men barnevognen ville ikke ha passet inn i baggasjerommet, for det har vi prøvd. Jeg tenkte det høyt og hun var enig med meg, derfor ombestemte vi oss og ble igjen på togstasjonen inntil Kimmy drar med toget.

Jeg skriver sjeldent om livet mitt, men akkurat nå passer det veldig godt å bare fletter inn hverdagen min med eventyret mitt. Jeg har en ide om å skrive et eventyr for små barn og for voksne mennesker til å lese, men det for være til en annen gang. Tilbake til hverdagen min;

Mens vi satt der lenge på stasjonen, spanderte jeg så klart på familien min. Jeg bestilte varm sjokolade melk til niesene mine, te og suppe til meg selv, og kaffe til moren min, Kimmy var ikke tilstede da, for hun hadde allerede dratt til narvesen for å kjøpe seg noe for å spise mens Angela sover søtt i vognen sin.

Jo, her kommer det jeg vil snakke om, men først må jeg forklare hva som skjedde - (Jeg har alltid trodd jeg er dårlig til å forklare og sjeldent liker å forklare meg for andre om hva som plager meg og hva som utgjør oppførselen min, men denne gangen legger jeg til side den troen og skrive fra hjertet mitt med et rolig tempo.) det som skjedde var at jeg spiste blomkål suppe, som var igjen og fikk halv pris på det.

*Ler* Det er så typisk meg å ønsker å spise noe så lett som suppe. Poenget mitt er at jeg tror jeg ble syk etter suppen, pluss det jeg spiste på morgenen, spaghetti fra boks! Jeg tenkte lenge at det måtte være det som fikk meg til å føle meg så dårlig innvendig, det svømte kjøtt og blomkål suppe som var igjen i magen min, for en herlig følelser det er å ville kaste opp (not.)

Dette var da jeg oppdaget da jeg kom hjem, kroppen sank ned til et veldig lavt temperatur, eller kanskje det var høyt? Jeg vet ikke, men jeg fikk frysninger over hele kroppen og følte som jeg ville få feber, men akkurat nå som jeg fikk spist i meg et eple føler jeg meg bedre. Det er akkurat som utsagnet; Eat an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Moren min tilbydde meg fisk og ris, men jeg følte en kvalme så fort jeg luktet på maten, så jeg valgte å spise et eple istedet. Det fikk meg til å tenke at det er på tide å slutte med å spise kjøtt og velger en sunnere kost?

Hele denne episoden fikk meg til å ligge rolig under dyna og konverserte med Guddommelig Mor og Guddommelig Far. Jeg spurte dem en rekker spørsmål, som f.eks - Er det greit å bli syk? Ville ikke det være en byrde for andre at jeg er syk? "Nei, ingenting av det er sant, for du er hverken en byrde eller en pest bare fordi kroppen plutselig følte for å skrus ned eller opp på temperaturet." Det hørtes egentlig veldig barnslig ut å prate med noen som de fleste ikke tror på, men for meg er det veldig ekte. Jeg mener at det er en Guddommelig kraft som fødet meg og plasserte meg her på Moder Jord, Hun er også en foreldre for meg, like ekte som mine biologiske foreldrer.

Det er eventyret som jeg snakker om. Hvem skulle ha trodd at Moder Jord er virkelig levende som også har en stemme i å si hva vi gjør mot henne og ikke bare mot henne, men mot oss selv også, hvorfor skulle hun ikke si noe? Hun elsker oss jo!? Jeg ror meg litt bort, men dette er min lidenskap. Jeg føler at jeg kjemper for en sak, men denne saken står jeg ikke alene om!

Uansett, det jeg mener er at jeg har alltid følt meg som en byrde bare fordi jeg føler meg skjør og blir lett syk, den lille troen som ble plassert i bevisstheten min siden jeg var et lite barn. Jeg rammet av en sykdom som kalles for asma. Det tok pusten av meg i mange lange måneder, og moren min måtte bære meg i armen hennes hver natt for at jeg kunne puste og sove fredelig.

Dette går enda lengre tilbake til at jeg og familien min egentlig var båtflyktninger. Ser du, jeg kjempet selv etter alle disse årene helt siden jeg var liten av, hvem kan tro at jeg er så sterk, som klarte meg så fint som til nå? Men jeg kunne ikke ha gjort det alene, uten mine foreldrer og de som var rundt meg som ville mitt beste. Dette får meg til å føle meg tryggere på livet og på de som virkelig ønsker å hjelpe meg, selv om det kan være uenigheter oss i mellom.

*Ler* Jeg er så flink til å ro meg bort, men alt henger sammen som du ser. Hvis jeg ikke har gått igjennom alt det, så ville jeg ikke ha noe å referere tilbake til og sammenligne med. Det er som å lære igjen på nytt å unngå å bli skadet, men egentlig så er det bare å huske igjen sin egen Guddommelighet.

Det er en langt historie, som jeg nokså kommer til å fortelle deg senere, men saken er at jeg følte meg mye bedre etter å ha lyttet til Guddommelig Far og Guddommelig Mor, med andre ord, de er et høyre bevissthet en kroppen min. Det er den bevisstheten som fikk meg til å føle meg bedre, og det bildet der moren min ønsker å spise meg levende var bare en tro om at jeg var en byrde for henne.

*Ler* Jeg er så barnslig, men ærlighet varer lengst. Sannheten er at jeg var redd for å dø, og virker svak og at hun kanskje ikke ville elske meg mer og ville forlate meg i syke sengen, men samtidig så føler jeg at jeg har stoltheten min, en sta side ved meg som ønsker å klare meg selv og ikke ville vise min svakhet. Og ja, etter stund kom moren min faktisk ned å be meg om å komme opp for å spise, men jeg var trofast mot kroppen min, for jeg følte jo en kvalme av lukten av stekt fisk. Jeg fortalte henne hva jeg følte der og da, og hun sa faktisk dette;

"Kjære deg, ikke spis noe som ikke er bra for kroppen din, du må hvile masse og du vet, jeg vil bare at du skal bli frisk, det er det jeg ønsker for deg. På morgenen skal jeg tilbrede noe godt til deg, så ikke tenk så mye, bare hvil deg. Er det noe annet du vil spise nå?"

Jeg tenkte straks på eple, for jeg føler at det er riktig å spise noe frisk og godt som ikke lukter død. *Ler igjen* Jeg følte meg ganske bortskjemt der og da, men hvis jeg ikke lar henne vise meg kjærlighet så vil jeg fortsatt holder på den troen om at jeg er uelsket. Derfor var det bare godt for meg å motta kjærlighet. Det var et utrolig godt forsøk for meg å føle meg bedre igjen. Og det du ber om skal du få. Jeg fikk eplet mitt og er til og med frisk nok til å skrive denne historien til deg.

Den som er syk skal få lov til å føle seg syk og heales i sitt eget tempo, og den som vil ta vare på deg, skal få lov til å ta vare på deg. Den personen skal gjøre det ut ifra sitt eget indre medlidenhet og ikke av tvang. Jeg hadde ikke ønsket å tvinge mamma til å være sittende fast med meg, hvis jeg var dødende nær, men jeg vet godt at innerst inne, så vil hun så klart være nær meg før jeg tar av og flyr min vei, men dette skal gjøres fra hjertet og ikke fra at man skal late som man er 'god.' Dessuten, hvorfor skal man late som når man egentlig er god fra før av innerst inne?

Poenget mitt er at begge skal ærlig innrømmer for seg selv og for hverandre (hvis de ønsker det,) etterhvert med å gi slipp på "skyldfølelsen." Det er ingen som har skylden på sykdommen, og selv om vi hadde funnet hundre tusen grunner for det så hadde ikke løst problemet. Vi trenger bare å stole på den Guddommelig kraften i oss, og ha tillit til at vi kan ta ansvar selv for det vi har gjort og heales fra 'bedragelige tanker' om skyldfølelse og skam.

Hva er så skamfull i å føle seg redd og liten? Et barn hadde ikke tenkt den tanken, med mindre vi planter det i barnet bevissthet. Så vær så snill, tenk to ganger før du skjefter på barnet ditt, og ikke mindre ditt indre barn. Dets eksistens var for at du skal huske hvem du er, at du elsker og er uskyldig. Vi kan ikke eksisterer uten hverandre. Hvis et lite pusle spill er borte fra bevisstheten, ville ikke bildet bli fullført.

Og ja, Moder Jord har en stemme i dette. Hun er ekte, like ekte som at jeg sitter her på den andre siden av verden å skrive til deg. Hun vil ditt beste... men hva gjorde du mot henne og likevel fortsetter å gjøre mot henne? Du ga henne kanskje skylden for alt eksosen og forgiftningen av maten, men det er på tide og lete etter sannheten. Hun har bare vært der og passet på at du får nok og føler deg elsket. Hvor ligger bevisstheten din nå? Vil du husker nå at du er med på å bidra til forgiftning av vann og luften du puster i.

Jeg skal være ærlig med deg, under min egen forstyrret og dramatisk oppvåkning kunne jeg lukte LUFTA vi så meget puster inn, og det LUKTER SHITT!! Det lukter faen meg bedriten.. (beklager for banningen, jeg liker ikke å banne, men jeg skal bare skrive fra hjertet og det kommer som det kommer.) Lukten av brent røkt av dødd hud... det er hennes hud og hår du brenner for å få energi til elektrisitet. Kjære vene. Jeg for bare være mer bevisst fra nå av om hva jeg gjør mot min egen Moder Jord og min biologiske mor som samarbeide med å bringe meg hit til Jorda og ikke minst meg selv.

.............. skjønner du hvor jeg kommer fra nå? Hvor vi alle egentlig kommer fra? Vi er alle i hennes livmor akkurat nå og hun lar oss vokser slik at vi er sterke nok til å dra avgårde på vår egen eventyr og kommer trygt hjem igjen etter en lang reise. (Det er egentlig den hverdagen vi lever i.) Hva velger vi nå? Eller hva vil du velger nå? Jeg mener ikke å fortelle deg hva du skal gjøre, det får du tenker på selv. Jeg vil bare skrive fra min egen opplevelser og velger å være mer bevisst. Jeg elsker dere alle sammen, derfor vil jeg ikke leker barnslig med dere lenger. Jeg må vokse opp nå.

Btw, jeg er frisk som en fisk, det kalles indre healing i bevisstheten. *Smiler fornøyd.*

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Change for The Better.

I long to go back home. "But home is already in your heart." Is it? At time I feel terrible broken and exhausted. The agony and pain of losing control suffocate me with an incredible tension and other time it numb my senses. "You can't keep controlling forever, change is inevitable." "Change is something that everyone is going through, whether good or bad, but actually, it's all good. If you resist change, it will of course feels painful, but if you let go, and just let if flow, you will feel more at ease, you know."

Yes, I guess everyone is forced to change at some point in life to be more comfortable with the idea that their comfort zone is expanding. I used to asked everyone else questions that I already know and act all 'dumb and naive' so that they will think that they're smart, but I never meant that they're any 'smarter' than me.. if you know what I mean. I must quit 'acting' that way, because I do know a lot.

I want to embrace my own inner voice and wisdom from now on. I have knowledge that is buried deep down inside me which I want to use to my own advantage till the time my friends and family (even people that I don't know) needs my guiding light. "To be a guiding light, you must first be your own guiding light." "Stop searching for answer outside yourself, while you already have all the answer you ever need inside your heart."

Sometime doing nothing makes you want to find something to do, but actually while you're doing 'nothing' you gets to 'do' a lot more that's more important than just 'doing' something to avoid boredom. I don't know if you get me or not on this. But what I mean, is ... "The doing arise from the heart and make you feel more fulfilled than if you blindly do something to get out of the silence and break the tranquility, and perhaps you even regret what you did." I'm not giving up on English, just so you know. *LOL* My inner voice is saving me again.

But still, I'm skeptic and not sure whether you understand that or not! "You're writing to yourself, there's no need to worry about others.. make it simple and easy for yourself rather than trying to make people understand your writing." That's true. I still learn to let go of the need of 'saving' people.... "Save yourself first and heal yourself first, be an example for other rather than lecturing them on what to do or not to do." "Give people the permission to shine their own light while you're shining your light."

"Everyone know already what to do, they only need to believe in themselves and be confident in who they are, this is just like what you're going through right now... is there anything else you would rather do than doing what you love to do?"

*Smiles* I wouldn't do anything that I don't want to do... why am I so skeptic and afraid of myself anyway? The light that is mine is not that powerful that makes people blind, is it? So why am I so afraid? "It's fear, fear of not being accepted for who you are, and fear for not being in control." "That's why change is so important to you right now, change of perception and your own reality... change from fear to love."

I want to embrace the divine love in me and while I'm doing that, I'll shine my light... at least turn it up a few notches. The truth is, I'm feeling more empowered than I used to, so it's positive after all when it comes to change. I want change... not within (and without) myself only, but change in the environment as well. What do you think? Do you think we need to change? And if yes, wouldn't it be great to change together for the better?

Sayonara, I'll speak with you again soon.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Crystallized Butterfly

I really like the idea of being a butterfly. I've been searching and reading articles about ascension and starseed.. and you might think I'm crazy who believes in it. But actually... I'm going down that path already. One day, you might think I'm all crazy who talk in a rhythmic way.. rhyming and singing my heart song. I love my heart song...

I don't want to brag or 'broadcast myself' (just like my inner voice is telling me not to do; "do not broadcast yourself") I'm listening and "obeying" my inner voice with respect. It's not like I want people to think that I'm crazy and it doesn't matter if they do, but I want it to be real. If I suddenly want to sing my heart song, it must be because I feel like it.

"Crystallized butterfly, butterfly crystallized, doesn't matter what it is, it is unconditional love, all right!"

You see, I love my inner voice, but seriously, how could anyone desire to harm me if I'm being all innocence with pure love and light? Just like a child looking at life with wonder and amazement...En-gg-lish.

Maybe it's a good idea to take English class and start it all over again. It's so confusing to suddenly being all frustrated.......(and stop for a few short 'thinking-break' to correct what I was writing.... ) because I don't know if it's correct or not! You see... what I mean about being 'me'...

I really don't mind being a crystallized butterfly, or in your or other people's term, being all crazy. Everything in this world is not just black and white you know. Because I'm being myself, that my life seems to be more colorful. "And if you find happiness in being who you are, then there's no need to be someone you're not... follow happiness, be that which make you happy." You see, it's truly a bliss to be who I really am, that I am.... Do you understand what I mean, with I am, that I am?

I love my inner voice, it's wise and other time full of wits and funny ideas about life! Do not misunderstand me, I don't mean your life, I mean mine.... My Life. I don't know what your inner voice is telling you, but mine tells me only what I want to hear, even if it hurts, but truth hurts, I must learn to live with honesty and grace.... I love my butterfly wings, one day, I will truly flee from this black and white life that I used to look at... "Maybe you already are where you want to be."

*Giggle* I think it's true. I am where I want to be, right now in this moment.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Min Skinnende Stjerne

Jeg satt lenge og fundret over hvorfor jeg følte slik jeg følte for deg. Det er en merkelig ting som jeg ikke har forstått meg på. Hjertet lever på en underlig måte sitt eget liv, den gjøre store fanfare hver gang jeg skal møte deg eller så lite som å høre fra deg. Det er en snev av redsel samtidig gleder. Jeg føler meg som en liten støvkorn som blir svupet opp og blåst vekk når du er i nærheten.

Du er som den majestiske sola som skinner opp, dine stråler når alle levende ting, og som en liten spire ønsker jeg selv å gro meg vakker til en blomst slik at jeg kunne nå opp til deg, bare for at du kunne se meg, og favner meg i dine varmer gløder. Jeg beskriver meg som liten og små, og kanskje en smule skjør, men jeg finner ikke noe bedre beskrivelser når jeg er i nærheten av deg. Jeg får meg ikke til å sammenligne meg selv med din storslåtte skjønnhet, men likevel føler jeg meg ett med deg. Jeg er så oppslukt i deg at selvet mitt forsvinner inni deg for hvert sekund som tikker avgårde.

Jeg reiser ofte tilbake i tid, bare for å oppleve igjen den følelsen av å møte deg for første gang. Det er så mange glimrende søte minner som jeg kan husker, som er gravert i mitt hjerte. Det er den uskylden ved første møte jeg er mest begeistret over. Det var den uskylden hvor vår reise begynte for første gang sammen. Selv om det var en smule med bitterhet og angst litt lengre utover den magiske reisen våres, fordi vi begge hverken kjenner oss selv eller den andre, men likevel har vi klart å løse opp i misforståelsene våres og knyttet et sterkere bånd med hverandre.

Det er det båndet som jeg mange ganger prøver å klippe av, men brått føler at jeg lengter igjen til den velkjente følelsen av kjærlighet som fyller opp alle celler i mitt hjerte. Jeg blir trist, men ikke deprimert, jeg blir glad, men ikke lykkelig. Det er som å surfe på kjærlighetsbølger, hvor spenning og mysterier utfolder seg i det uendelige.

Jeg vet ikke hvilken skjebne som har brakt deg inn i livet mitt, eller hvem Engel som førte meg til deg, men uansett hva eller hvem det skulle være, takker jeg for din eksistens. Ved å vite at du eksisterer, lære jeg å kjenne meg selv. Jeg kjenner ikke bare mine svakheter, men mine indre styrker, og visstnok mer enn bare det. Jeg oppdaget mine skjulte drømmer, som virker uoppnåelige, men som jeg likevel begjære å fullføre. Jeg vet for mange, (og kanskje for deg også) er drømmene mine som fantasier, ubegripelig og lite troverdig til å anse som virkelig, men jeg vet min eksistens er mer enn et legeme.

Jeg har alltid visst at det finnes en kjærlighet som overgår den alminnelige kjærligheten vi har her på jorden. Kjærlighet som er ego basert varer ikke lenger, og er ikke ekte nok til å føle seg ubetinget elsket, men selv etter mye svikt og manipulasjon fra mennesker nær meg, har jeg forstått at jeg har en lengsel til det ultimate kjærligheten; ubetinget og guddommelig.

Ved å elske deg, husker jeg igjen hva ubetinget kjærlighet var. Og det er ikke en slik kjærlighet som bare øyner kan se og ører kan høre. Du er en utfordring for meg til å elske uselvisk, en utfordring til å sprenge alle grenser og regler på hva kjærlighet er og ikke er. Å elske deg er ikke å bære en tittel som din elskede eller kjæreste. Å elske deg handler ikke om å binde deg innenfor rammen på hva du ønsker å gjøre eller ikke gjøre. Jeg er ikke ute etter å beseire deg, selv om du kanskje føler det slik.

Etter mange konfrontasjoner med meg selv, vet jeg at jeg har brukt ditt nærvær til å føle meg elsket, men jo mer jeg holder deg igjen, føler jeg at jeg kveler meg selv, for sannheten er at jeg føler meg mer uelsket enn jeg egentlig vil føler. Jeg vet at jeg har vært svak og ga etter når jeg egentlig skulle gi slipp på deg, men jeg har latt meg selv faller for dyp, og det gjør vondt hver gang jeg skal trekke meg.

Jeg beklager for at det er så klisje aktig med en slik brev, men som vi begge vet så bruker jeg brevene mine for å formidle meg selv med dybde og klarhet, for det er akkurat slik jeg er. Jeg har rom nok til å kunne føler andres lengsel til å være den de i virkelighet er uten å bli manipulert eller føler seg mindre verdt. Jeg er beæret over at jeg har den viten av å kunne føle andre i mitt hjerte og sjel.

Men av og til, undrer jeg på om noen forstår min egen lengsel til å være den jeg virkelig er foran andre 110 prosent. Jeg vil alltid elsker deg, men jeg er ikke ute etter å bli avhengig i å ha deg for meg selv, for det er ikke slik jeg elsker. Mitt ønsker for andre og for meg selv er at alle kunne være sitt autentisk selv med gleder og letthet. Og det er akkurat det jeg ønsker for deg hvert eneste øyeblikk jeg puster inn den samme luften som du puster i deg.

Jeg vil alltid husker at jeg ble kjent med en jente som speilte tilbake til meg de fineste og flotteste sider ved meg selv som jeg kan være stolt over. Selv om vi befinner oss på hver vår side av landet og er i vår egen verden uten noe som helst form for kommunikasjon, så vit at vi er allerede i hverandres bevissthet.

Det er for meg mirakuløs å kunne føler savn etter deg med hele meg, akkurat slik jeg er i min lille verden, mitt univers. Du er som en liten stjerne i mitt univers der jeg kan romme deg og mange andre; det er i mitt hjerte, det er der du er til for meg, ubevegelig i all evighet med ro og fred. Hører du ekkoet som roper tilbake til deg i ditt eget indre, jeg elsker deg? For det er du. Du er elsket, elsket... e-l-s-k-e-t min elskede. Skinn så mye du vil i mitt univers, vær ditt kongelig selv. Deres høyhet med kjærlighet og glede. For det er slik jeg ønsker å gjøre foran deg uten å holde meg selv igjen.

Klokken tikker endeløs... tikkende i vei, for hvert hjertepuls, du er så levende. Hører du ekkoet i ditt eget sinn? Hviskende.... om en kjærlighet så sann og ren; min skinnende stjerne, skinn nå opp din egen vei, og følg din uoppnåelig drøm.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Believe in Miracle

When there are noises all around me, and the world is too much, I'll let myself flow to the inner shrine of Miracles -and bathe myself in her presence. She always draws me closer to her heart-space sanctuary with her soft firm voice of golden light. She caresses and nurtures my being, while purifying my mind of it's sickness.

She knows the yearning of her beloved, as well as her own sadness. She desires nothing else for herself -but to be who she truly is. Her royalties and prestige is not of arrogance and ignorance, she never commanded anyone to heed her words. Even though sometimes it may seem otherwise, her command is only a request to strengthen the young heart to know her worth.

There's nothing she would rather say than to tell you the truth, and the truth is, she is being the truth. She's like an old grandmother who loves her children and grandchildren. At times she is being too wise for her own good. But she will rather be dimmed for being cold and careless rather than let her beloved repeat the same endless mistake to no avail.

Tell me, is there anybody out there who knows their worth who can see, really see her for who she is, because she has eyes that penetrates the illusion and sees you for who you are, she can really see behind your masks and frenzy demeanor. She sees your glorious attributes and innocence being, as her Divine Father God sees her.

Her cold demeanor is a protection shield from those who aren't aware of what they're doing to themselves, and thus carelessly harming her sensitive heart and soul. She loves herself, yes she does, you might think she's all self-centered and egoistic, but all she does is take care of her own being with charm and wits. She knows herself from the inside out and is without a doubt, that she will be judge for being cold, hard and ruthless, but if you really know her, you will understand she is taking responsibility for her own actions and faults.

She is really that simple, because she knows how important it's to keep balance and order in her universe. Her love is selfless and unique. Why would anyone harm her for being who she is? Why would anyone think that she doesn't love them for who they are? Because the truth is, she doesn't care about how they act or what they do, as long as they're happy and content with who they are from the inside out and from the outside in.

Ah, they think too much, all busy living in their head, forgetting about their heart, analyzing every word she say, every action she take. They take it way too personally when she stand up for herself and tell them what she wants and needs. She doesn't demand anything without knowing her worth, because she knows, that's why she wants to make sure you know it too.

When she kept her silence and refused to talk, it's not because she has turn her back on you, she just wants you to learn your mistake and know your worth. She knows herself better than you know her, that's why she won't let you trample on her heart-space sanctuary carelessly.

Know your worth! Know your worth! She makes no threats without a reason. If you truly know her, you will understand her Divine being, delicate yet determined when she makes up her mind. She has her butterfly essence and with her butterfly wings, she will truly flee if you're being dishonest and flaky. She meant what she said, she said what she meant, I suggest you to; be loyal and faithful 100 percent.

Take my advice and love yourself, truly love yourself for who you are, and you will understand how much she loves you. Believe in Miracle and she will show wonders in your life, this is her request, if you want her for who she is, you better abide and take the quest.

Miracle ƸӜƷ

The End of The Chase

I thought I would never love someone like I love you. The constant search for you had made me blind to the fact that you were always near enough for me to feel every inch of you. You're so tangible, I didn't know that you were so fragile until I touched you with my words. You're soaking up everything I say and think, you've become transparent, but still visible to the eyes.

My mind fooled me to think that you were hiding from me, but I was the one who didn't realize that you were always beside me and within me. The mirror I was looking at was actually you looking back at me. I feel so ashamed for not being faithful, but until now, you still forgive me. How can I make it up for the lost time where I've been looking elsewhere but into my own heart? What do I do now with the fear that I might not remember or recognize you again without the mirror that has been reflecting back at me?

Will I be able to pour out my love to you like I use to with my poetry and artistic way of writing? There's so many unanswered questions, which I actually know the answer to, but still not sure whether they're real or just my imaginations making it all up.

I know one thing is certain, your song still rings in my ears, I still hear it clearly. Are they the guiding tunes you're playing for me to hear, to let me know that you're forever faithful and loyal while you stand by my side like you always have?

I'm so sorry that I've let you down so many times by running away whenever you're close by, the only reason was because I was afraid your love would burst open my broken heart which I tried so hard to repair.

You watched over me like a little seed that I am, long to sprout and bloom, and you already knew that my longing for you was real since you never leave my side. You stood by and shielded me from reckless storms and hurdles.

Your love reached through the wall that I've build to protect myself from others opinions about me. All the while I thought I was good for nothing, but you were the one who always encouraged me to write and phrase my feelings with honesty without fear of being silly and weak. And before I knew it, your love breaks the crust around my human heart to billion of pieces till they become powder of dust. Your gentle nudge always encouraging me to look deep within my heart, and show me that the light within my heart was my own divinity and nothing else.

I always thought that you taunted me and didn't want to reveal yourself because I was not worthy of your love, but that wasn't true at all. It was the mind that held me back from exposing my love to you, and made me believe that I must prove myself worthy before you will open up your arms to embrace me into your kingdom of heaven. But it was me who has forgot that I'm not a beggar, but a princess who has been away from her own castle for far too long.

I still want to make myself worthy to be your devotee without any flaw, because I love you that much to know that you deserve everything that's not flake and false. My vessel is yours to purify and love, my dear Miracle. Because we both know, that we're one and the same. I made myself believe that I was the one who's chasing you, but in the end, I am the one who has been caught by you.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

I Mitt Hjerte

Kjære Elskede,

Jeg har lenge ønsket å være en åpen bok for deg å lese. Min kjærlighet til deg er fri og flytende som en rennende foss, brusende i ekstase. Drømmen min er ganske enkelt, det er å være til hjelp når himmel på jord utfolder seg i vår nærmeste fremtid. Den hjelpen jeg kan tilby er av ren kjærlighet. Jeg ønsker ikke noe til gjengjeld enn å se deg våkne opp fra marerittene dine. Når dine øyner åpnes opp vil jeg være den første du ser. Jeg vil leder deg gjennom paradiset som vår Guddomelig Far har skapt til oss.

Min kjære, vær i undring når du ser verden rundt deg, for det er riktig mye skjønnhet og gleder hvor du enn snur deg. Lar blikket faller kjærlig mot hjertet ditt og åpne deg opp for de mulighetene som utfolder seg i dette øyeblikket. Det er i sannhet ingen smerte eller vonde drømmer her på himmelen vi kaller jorda.

Mange ting vil endrer seg nå som du er hjemme i ditt hjerte, det er kun ømme omfavnelser som omkranser deg og rokker deg til søvn når lengslen er for overveldet. Og selv om du kanskje har tatt dine illusjoner til å være din virkelighet, vil jeg med mine ord beroer og trøster deg om at glader tider er i vente.

Det er ingenting du ikke kan gjøre, bare det du ikke ønsker og vil gjøre. Og selv når du er usikker vil jeg forsikre deg om at jeg forstår deg. Jeg forlanger ikke at du skal forandre deg for å blidgjøre meg selv når du føler ditt hjerte, der du tilhører hjemme er knust. For i mitt hjerte har jeg holdt av en plass til deg i all hemmelighet, men jeg har ikke gått en dag uten å fortelle deg hvor mye jeg elsker deg, og i mitt hjerte er du alltid velkommen. Det er derfor ingen hemmelighet for hverken meg eller deg.

Jeg har gitt deg fri vilje til å velge om du vil tro eller ikke vil tro på den sannheten jeg har i mitt innerste tempel. Og i mitt dypeste, ønsker jeg at du velger å vite at du er elsket hinsides. Selv når mørket dekker over oss og ingen lys er i syne, vit at jeg er din fakkel som skinner opp veien for deg, for å lede deg tilbake, hjem igjen inn i ditt eget hjerte.

Uansett hva du mister i livet av materielle goder, vil du aldri noensinne kunne miste meg, og om du mister det eneste du har igjen i livet ditt, din kjæreste hjerte, er sjelen din en del av meg, og livet ditt vil bli født på nytt med maksimalt glede. Du vil aldri bli tapt eller borte, for din sjel er det vakreste jeg besitter i all evighet.

Din kjæreste hjerte,

Crystallized Butterfly.

Gratitude Unlock The Fullness of Life.

Dear Beloved Heart,

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

- Melodie Beattie

During hard times, remember to be thankful. It doesn't matter how small or big it is, just be grateful. If you can't find anything to be grateful about, you can start with yourself. Be grateful that you're still alive in this moment. This moment in the now is precious, because it may lead you to what you want only if you can appreciate what you have.

Think of the people who died every moment and everyday around the globe, I think they would like to have a second chance to live again, just to finish what they came here to do, but couldn't, because they died too soon, without knowing that they were blessed in the first place.Why is it a blessing to be alive?

Well, you're the creator of your own life, and whoever put you here, has given you a chance to create your life, just the way you want it too. Yeah, I say, just the way you want it. Either good or bad, you're the one creating everything. Maybe you didn't know that, but now you know. Why?

Because I can see no one can create your life better than you. You're co-creating with God. He gave you the law of attraction and the universal laws to make it easier to follow.

One of the golden rule is:

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

The law of attraction is very known. It's the tools for you to create what you want to experience. Rich thought with good feelings attract wealth in your life, poor thoughts with bad feelings attract poverty. It doesn't have to be about money alone. It can be about others as good friendship, a loveling family, or you will get something for free etc.

I suggest you to search or read about the law of attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks. They have helped me to see more options to choose. You will see possibilites when your heart is more open. The information on how to attract what you want instead of attracting what you don't want. It's better to be aware than unaware and getting upset, but in the end, it's all up to you.

Share the love that you have inside of you, find the one thing that you love and feels it. And go from there to start sharing your love and be grateful for a new day with new possibilities to start over again. Forget what you did wrong in your past, remember the mistakes you made and find an opportunity to make up for the lost time.

Don't worry to much about your future, just stay in the present moment and make sure you don't miss a single thing, because they will never come back again. Focus your mind in the now moment, and stay in awe and amazement. Look at the stars, moon, sun and every little wonder around you. I request you, do it for yourself. If you really love your daughter, your friend, your mom, your dad ... your job, your school, your home, your shoes... do it for them, and at least do it for YOUR SELF. Whatever it is, it's unconditional love.

It's doesn't matter what you love, just share that love. It's possible to love everything and everyone, and most importantly, IT'S POSSIBLE TO LOVE YOURSELF, for Who You Are even though you might think you're a bad person but no one is really bad to the core. In God's eyes, you're just like innocent children.

Love your Self. Life isn't that gloomy and dark as you think it is. Life is wonderful and mysterious! I LOVE LIFE, and I aim to make my heart wider. I want to open it up even more, so I'll have the whole globe within my heart.

I love to love, to bring peace and joy, and to see people smile. I just love it.

Ps: Even tho you might be sad, angry or bitter, it's ok, love yourself for that matter. They're just feelings anyway, they come and go, the one that's behind them don't care that much what you do, but only how you feel, and I mean your heart, it just want to love and to be like a child.

Your heart wants you to play and laugh a little more. It wants you to be curious about life and about the world. Whenever I ask my heart it always answer me.

I know that there're much confusion when you try to figure out thing with your mind, but when I concentrate with my heart, it always find the solution that benefits everyone involved. The most important thing is love, and not to forget to love yourself.

And when you find it hard to do big thing in a great way, you can always start with the small thing. Take babystep if it is necessarily. Just take it on step at a time, or a day day at a time. One intention at a time. Don't loose faith in yourself. You're great and will always be. And whether you know it or not, even if it doesn't look like it on the surface, in your core, in the bottom of your heart and soul, you will find the most increadible person you will ever know.

Make your dreams come true, fulfill it. I think your children would rather fulfill theirs dream when they get older, I remember how awful it was to try to fulfill my parents dream. I didn't want to, but I was afraid to disappoint them... I wasted so much time and energy, but I'm glad that I figured it out now, than later. And wouldn't it be better to live the life you want to live, than living someone else's life? May love be your way of living, and know that you're loved and cared for.

Remember, you've the whole world under your feet.

With Love, Crystallize.

From My Deepest Well

Dear Beloved Heart,

It has been a while since I sat down and write to you. Today, I want to describe myself in one word, love. Yes, love, as a conduit for love to flourish, I've taken myself to many different roads in life. Sometime I find it hard to make life worth living, and other times, I find it pretty easy. The easy part is that I'm thinking less and live more, and the hardest part is thinking too much and forget living.

I'm not always there, but when I am, I know that I can move myself from duality and analysed less than I used to do. I know one thing for sure, that life is full of surprises and there are many possibilities that prevent itself to me when I live in the NOW. I keep learning new things, and to be here on earth, require me to be more grounded, to pull more lights, to accept myself fully as a member of the Family of light.

I do have hopes and dreams. I cheer for you who might not always see the light, but as you may know, you've come to the place you are now, is not only luck. You have more potential than you think. You've done great in life, being angels human.

I don't want to complicate things, because it makes too much drama. But even when you're in the midst of drama, enjoy it to the fullest. Enjoy your life to the fullest, and know that you've done your best or doing your best right now right here. These words help me to understand why there're density and why so much people lived without noticing the great thing about themselves. I know it is because we don't appreciate ourselves enough and love ourselves. Truly love ourselves for who we are.

And the means of Who We Are, is to accept ourselves in the now moment, whether we are happy or unhappy. I suggest you to think about who you are, maybe asking yourself what you can be for yourself, so that you can be for other. I know we all have different opinions, and I share with you my opinions from my heart-space sanctuary. I don't mean to dump it all on you and lecturing about what you've done and should do.

I wish you the best, from my deepest well.

Love,
Crystallize

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

Dear Heart,

It's humanly to be vulnerable and divinely to let it flow through the body. And even though people see you walking confidently and act cold from the outside, doesn't mean that you can not be a softy from the inside. Irriation might arise inside you if you're not willing to accept that aspect of you. And why couldn't you, when that soft side is your feminine energy. You can view it as a blessing and know that you're on your way to learn to be a divine being with human flesh with emotions and feelings.

I think if we just live from our mind, we would go dense and become a manic robot without hopes and dreams. I used to suppress my feelings before my transformation and when someone push my button I would go boom and cost everyone around me to suffer from my anger. Because of that I've learn to be more gentle with myself, and let people know how I feel and set boundaries. There're many ways to let people know how you feel, it doesn't need to be anything abusive.

When someone pushes your button, be alert, you can either accept the situation or let them know how you feel and set boundary, the worst thing you can do to yourself and people around you is to stuff everything inside you. Some button are not to be push to many times, you can go error, and who knows what you might do. I think that is why we have murder, and people who act from anger can kill and before they know what they've done, it would be too late.

I remember one time when I was younger, I had a fight with my babysister and her friends. They joined together and bullied me, and I was so angry that I gave her a slap in the face with full force. Oh my, that made her cried so much that it broke my heart! I never thought I would do something like that, but I guess I had a lot of negatives emotions inside me that time.

Well, it's normal to be angry, but since I am awake to the truth, anger is only there to teach us how to be more gentle with ourselves. We all are one, and if we are aware enough with our aggresion we will prevent it from being abusive or getting to the point of violence.

My point is, it's normal to be angry or upset, but let it out in form of tears or creative outlet is much better than when you suppress it all the time. Perhaps we could kill if we're angry enough. Whenever I read about someone who killed another from anger, I felt him right away and gets compassionated, and I will give them my blessing and hope that they would learn from their action.

Perhaps you don't understand why I'm being like that towards a murder, but the truth is -

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”

- Buddha

And since we are all one, then it's logic to understand that whatever thoughts or actions we're given to another, will come back to us, ten folds. I always gets passionated when I read the news about people dying and killing each other, because my desire to raise my consciouness and to heal the world increase more and more. It's not up to me to judge, when I judge others, I'm judging myself, it limits me to feel good about myself.

It's not my busniess what other are doing with their life, how they live are up to them, and whatever happens to them are their lessons. What I do with my life and what happens to me is my busniess. I don't want to go bankrupt by tending to others busniess and neglects my own.

And shall we not love our neighbor as ourselves?

"Love your neighbor as yourself"

- Jesus

All I know, is that I would like to honor my feelings and believe in them to be true, and whenever I release them, I know that I'll be more at ease. I know that my feelings are my own, and I would rather release them and take responsibility for my reaction than blaming someone for putting it in me.

But I've learn to respond to people more than reacting without questioned them first and I truely believe that with time all wounds will heal. Even though it may take times to heal, but I know the best time to start is now... one day we will fully be ourselves enough to stand infront of our beloved and be strong enough to take care of him/her and let they know that we love them as who they are, without being afraid to show them our vulnerability.

But before that, we have a lot of work to do (BEing). We needs to tend to our own busniess and runs it as a boss running our own company. The only boss and the only employee is us anyway.

I hope my words resonate with your heart.

With much love and care,

Your beloved SiStar Crystallize.