Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, and soon happy new year! My christmas was spent with lots of silence and some noodles pack. To be more specific, it was mom who cook fried noodles for us. And now christmas is over and new year is ahead. My new year resolution is to love myself more and do my best to quit smoking. I don't really want to quit, but because of an important reason I have to quit. Not to mention that it's bad for my health so quitting is really a must anyway.

I don't know what else I should talk about today, I mean, everything happen for a reason, and I don't really know the reason just yet, so I will probably just write whatever comes to mind (or not writing at all?) Well, it's holiday, everyone should smile a lot more and do good deeds, spent time with your family and friends, or with strangers who is alone this holiday. How do you spent your holiday? I would love if you share your story, or anything that can lift my spirit up a little. 

I'm not sad, but, I'm quite tired of the 3D love relationship. The confusion and frustration of wanting someone, but can't have them. That's why I decide I'm gonna dedicate the entire time cultivating the 5D vibrational unconditional love from now on. I'm not sure how I will do that, but maybe I just need to be more aware of my action and my thoughts. 

I'm sorry, this post is rather boring to read. But I really don't know what I should write about... I don't have much to share, so. I think I better check in another time, maybe I will come up with some more interesting story or something new to share. 

Spent your holiday with great love and joy everyone.

Blessings

Miracle 

The Time I Couldn't Sleep

It's late, but I have an uneven sleep pattern these days. Being up all night and sleep till late evening. Being awake like this and doing nothing is just what I have being doing lately, even though I tried my best to write. 

This blog hasn't improved that much either since I haven't been active with it at all. I don't know when I stop to write entirely, but it seems like I have lost inspiration and even worst don't feel like writing. 

The moment I become sentimental and reminiscing about my past love is the moment I listen to a good romantic song. I still think of her, even though the longing isn't that strong anymore. I learn to live without her in my life while I keep thinking if she would ever come back. The future is mysterious and exciting, I really wonder what would happen to me in the near future and if I would ever see her again.

Life, not something you would waste, but at times difficult to not wander of or be distracted. I thought about it and come to a conclusion. The whole time while I was trying to help people, I neglected myself. So this time around I will dedicate time to myself where I can replenish and practice what I have learn through reading self help books. There're so many things I need to improve. My soul, body and mind need to be balance. And I have to use this opportunity to do just that.

I'm not saying that helping people is a waste of time, but I think you have to be careful not to make them dependent in you for help each time there are problems. And watch out for those who take advantage of your kindness. Being compassion and help people in need are always a good thing, but setting boundaries are also another thing you have to remember to do if you face a person who doesn't want to help themselves.

I don't think it's a bad thing to think about yourself, because when you are in balance and accept that you need to give time to yourself, then helping others will come naturally. You will also be more joyful when you actually have more to give. Helping others shouldn't be an obligation, but rather a free choice, an act of kindness. Think about it for a moment, when you are force or being manipulated to help someone, wouldn't you resent yourself more afterwards? I know how it feel, because I have step on that path many times during my life, however I have learn from it and actually I'm more aware of how people treat me. I can notice when people are genuine towards me or not.

Enough said, I will certainly contemplate more about this topic and doing my best to write when I have the time to do so. 

Åpenhet

Hvis jeg visste at det kommer en dag der jeg måtte gi slipp på deg, hadde jeg ikke kastet bort tiden med å dagdrømme. Jeg ville gjort mitt beste å skape mest mulig minner med deg. Livet er for kort, selv om det virker som vi kommer til å leve for evig. Så klart, sjelen vil aldri dø, men det livet vi har her nå er det eneste vi har. 

Vi trenger å sette mer pris på de menneskene vi har rundt oss. Noen forhold varer ikke livet ut, de endre seg med tiden, men likevel er de verdt å huske på, for de har gitt oss så mye å lære om. 

Når vi kommer i kontakt med et annet menneske må vi huske å ha et åpen sinn. Vi trenger å tre inn i forholdet uten fordommer slik at vi ikke går glipp av deres kjerne. Den godheten som vi alle besitter ligger dypt inn i oss. Selv om vi ikke kan beholde kontakten er det ikke en ende. Gir dem en mulighet til å savne deg, og gi slipp på dem. Noen forhold varer som en årstid, mens andre varer livet ut. 

Livet er som en mysterie, du vet aldri hvem som kommer og hvem som går ut av livet ditt. Du vet aldri hva som kan skje med deg, du kan ha det bra det ene øyeblikket og dårlig i neste. Uansett hvordan livet utfolde seg, vil du alltid møte på nye mennesker som kanskje får deg til å se ting annerledes, men om du møter noen mennesker som ikke resonnere med din energi, kan du sende dem kjærlighet og gå videre med livet ditt.

Vi trenger ikke alltid forklare oss selv for noen, la det heller være en hemmelighet hvis det er negativt det vi vil si.

Anna Knows

Since the day you were gone, I have been thinking of you, but I was never sad, even though I missed all the things we went through together. I missed you and what we had. It's wasn't perfect, but we were building a solid foundation for our friendship, or so I thought. It was sad to see you go, I can't but keep wonder if I will ever see you again.

Everything that you told me about yourself was mostly what I myself had been through. You told me how difficult it was to be there for everyone; your friends and family. You said you didn't have enough energy to spend on others and you didn't know which side of the fence you're standing on when it comes to love. You were also tired of school, but you kept hanging in there, and I guess you still keep it up and do your best. The difference between us is that I'm giving up too easily, when you still hangs on to the most thing you set yourself up to do.

If I had the same willpower that you had, then maybe my life would be different by now. It's not that I complain or anything, I'm doing fine with what I have right now, so there's not much to complaining about. 

Everything is so faint now, memories about you keeps flickering in my mind. Memories, they belong to the past and I think I should keep it there since moving on is my only option.

Anna would know how I feel. She knows that I'm spending my time thinking of you. The thought about you mesmerized me. I thought about our kiss and the tingling sensation when you brush your fingers through my hair or a simple touch of your hand would send me to a far away galaxy. Anna knows all this.

I have been talking to her, so, Anna knows.

Inspiration Where Are You, (Picture of Me)

The state I'm in; calm and content.

I'm feeling quite satisfied with who I am, even tho I might not be beautiful or smart. I never post any picture of myself in this blog. But maybe I should? So you would see who are hiding behind all these words.

Seriously, I ran out of ideas on how to make this blog more exciting and interesting. It seems like I have lost a part of myself in the process of healing. I don't know, inspiration just stop. I tried my best to squeeze out words to make a good article, but it doesn't happen, even though I really want it to happen.

You probably think that I'm stressing, and yes.. I think I do stress.. a lot. I really want to get my inspiration back. I pray for it.

Anyway.. I think I will keep it simple this time and post a picture of myself.

Here it's me. Nice to meet you. 

Love Crystallized Butterfly