Go Ahead And Love

If loving someone, why being afraid to tell them? If wanting someone, why afraid to let them know? The thing we want the most is love, then why are we so afraid to show it? Your mind denied your affection for someone soul, it won't let you open up, because it threaten you, make you fearful, that you might be rejected for how you feel. 

If loving someone is to let them go, and not wanting to possess them as something you own, then you are one step up the ladder, you are loving unconditional. It's hard, but it's something worth trying. Your breath will be short, your heart will pound like crazy, your eyes might spill tears, but what is better than to love and be loved in return? Even though your love is unrequited, isn't it enough to just love without expectations and desire. 

But love without desire is mostly not passionate, if you love so much that your heart ache then it's the desire to love without any inhibition, you should honor that aching, a rose without thorns is not a rose. A love without desire is not love truly, even whatever that desire must be, but if it must be anything, then let that desire be to love without expectation, let it be unconditional. Because a long the line, you are just a soul experience a human form, but it's not impossible to love unconditional. You just have to learn the art of loving yourself, your feelings and your thoughts. If you are afraid to love, your heart will always direct you towards someone who will crack you open so that you can take a peek inside yourself and see that love is all there is.

Maybe to love is painful and hard, when the time spending together ends, but isn't it worth saving the memories and cherish time spend together? Love never end truly, but we just believe that this is the only life we have, but who know about the life after that or the life before that. Maybe we should let love decide our destiny. Whatever brought us here are watching over us. We must trust that love and have faith and patience with ourselves so that we might understand why we fear the thing we want the most. 

To persuade love to cleanse our pain and heartache are the only remedy we need to go on. What we fear the most, is what we need to love the most. Our fears aren't there for no reason. It learn us to honor our feelings, to not resist to face it and make it our friends instead of our enemies. Love is not complex, it's quite simple, the only reason is that our thoughts make it more difficult to understand our underlying fears towards it. While our heart paints our love with all the color it inhabit, our soul is eager to try once more and direct its love towards someone or something so we won't feel shallow or lonely. Go ahead, love with all your faults and imperfections, no one needs to know that you have feared to love or shed tears when glooming thoughts appear in your mind. 

The Place Most People Fail To Notice

I’m at lost for words to describe the way I feel. Usually when my emotions start to make a havoc in my life, I will use words to silence them and make the chaos to subside. But it has been years and years without me even touch the keyboard to write a decent piece of art. I call it art, because that’s what feelings are. They painted your life in most amazing way. You can either thank them or curse them for the upheaval they cost you to feel. You can cry because of them, or you can laugh when you understand how ridiculous they’re sometimes. Usually because of the way you think that created those feelings in the first place. I think if you really listen to your thoughts and shed some lights on them, you will understand that they actually are not at all there to make you feel less than you are. Even though it could feel like that sometimes, the only way to really understand yourself is to actually make time to be alone and sits with your thoughts. Many people fears to be alone because they’re afraid of their own thoughts and how thoughts can make them feel about themselves, but actually when you really make time to be with yourself, you will get to know the person behind your thoughts. You will no longer feel that you are an empty shell with no depths. It could be scary at first when you approach your inner depth, but when you do it many times and start to get to know the real you underneath the surface you will actually be more confident in who you are. 

Sometimes we aren’t conscious about the fact that we are afraid to be alone. We think it’s boredom to be alone and not having anything to do, and when we actually are alone we tried to avoid to listen to our own  thoughts and start finding someone to keep us in company or just getting busy doing something else rather than to hear what we actually think. It took me awhile before I really understand that I have been avoiding the alone time by finding stuff to do, I was always busy finding someone to talk with and never really listen to myself and understand why I sometimes felt empty and lonely. 

My childhood wasn’t perfect and there were always time my parents argued and made things difficult for me and my siblings to feel appreciated and loved, so the feeling of emptiness and loneliness stem from that upbringing. I guess most of us have had bad experiences from early on and as we grew up we didn’t learn how to deal with those emotions that made us feel less than we are. I believe that there are many people like me who try their best to search for the love they felt they never had. I also think that the people before me also did embark on that journey to find themselves and the love they so dearly desire. No matter who and in what age, younger or older than me, we both share the same wish. We wish to feel loved and accepted as we are. 

So why is it so important to be alone and listen to our thoughts? Because only when we are conscious about our thoughts pattern can we resolve them in a more positive way instead of letting those thoughts making us fearful and destroy our chance to be happy. Some of the thoughts aren’t really ours to begin with. We might have adopt them from the people near us or from the society and media. We might even pick them up in the supermarket or in crowded place full of people. I have read and heard that thoughts are actually energies. They come in ripples and can expand in multitude ways and from what I know we actually identify ourselves with them thoughts. When we identify ourselves with those thoughts, we think that we are them, and yes, it’s possible that we can be those thoughts, because Buddha once said «We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.» 

So how do we purify our minds? I think to purify our minds we must first hear what we actually think in the daily basis. You have probably heard about meditation, if not then I must mention it here, since I have actually practice it for awhile and really benefit from it. My mind become much clearer and I can be more aware of what I think. Meditation is not just sitting at one place. There are multitude way to do it. In this time of age, many are having difficulties getting time to meditate, because usually when you meditate you will have to sit at one place and doing nothing. That’s how you can relax better and not being distract. But I have experience that I can still meditate while washing the dishes or taking a walk. Everything lies in the breathing. For example when you are conscious on your breathing, notice the feeling of touching the water, how your hands washing the dishes, you might do it slow or fast, doesn’t matter how you do it, just be in that moment and feel. Start noticing that everything become silent. Your thoughts are coming in many different forms. Maybe it’s joyful thought, maybe it’s a anxious thought. No matter what thoughts that come, just let them flow by your mind, don’t get attach to them, just listen. When you do it often enough you will understand yourself and your feelings better. 

While we tends to search for peace and happiness outside ourselves we neglect to really go inside of us and listen to our heart. The joy, the happiness and the peace have always been inside our heart. We just fail to notice it. That’s the only true place where we can truly be all that we want to be. What most of us really desire the most is love and peace. That’s what I believe to be true. The true power is not to know everything or attain a lot of knowledge, but to really love everything and attain peace. Maybe I’m wrong to believe that, but I have hope in humanity and faith in God. What He has created is beyond our imagination. The universe is vast and there are galaxies and planets out there that are far more bigger than ours. To be living on this earth are our blessing. Isn’t it amazing that we share this earth with each other throughout many generations and still our species has survived? Our problems are smaller than we think they are. Just take a break from everything and really go deep inside yourself, find some alone time and discover the universe that lies inside your heart. Thoughts are merely energy, and they really shape your reality, so what you think can affect the life you live. The only place most people fail to notice are really their hearts.