The Voice of Love.

The Eye of Prince: "My Miracle."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: *Smiles*

The Eye of Prince: "Miracle of Love, Miracle of creation, Miracle of innocence, Miracle of purity."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: *Flutter*

The Eye of Prince: "Eye shall sing to the skies and every bird in flight of Butterfly, the innocent one"

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "My creation and creativity is in the air you breathe, thus we breathe in the same air and I will and shall hear your song."

The Eye of Prince: "And we are the air. Always have been one."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "That's why you recognize my heart song."

The Eye of Prince: "It plays beautifully in my hearts sanctuary. As children on a sunday afternoon. As a nightingale. You are so cherished butterfly, your innocence shines."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "Yes, I feel the love that shone through when midnight sun fade out. I felt the love and life as one, and nothing can hinder my love to all beings. I'll gather more holy waters and light to fill my beloved's longing abyss."

The Eye of Prince: "You are the rising of the tiger at the gates of dawn, the warmth of wolf mother."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "Oh, how deeply cherished are your words.. I feel noble while reading them. This is how I would like to talk, sing and walk.. like royalty of divinity, flutter and flying.. it's like a light cape which warmth my being."

The Eye of Prince: "((((ah))))Then let us speak the beauty of Lakes and spring. Let our voices evoke the heavens at the crossroads where we meet to part never again. My eternal one."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "Then I shall sing. This love can't be compared to the love of man.. this love is the love of divinity, of heaven and of Mother Earth. Lets tip toe on the surface of the water and make ripples in joyous dance." "My harp, I must tune it..."

- # *Flutter down and bring in the harp to tune it.*

The Eye of Prince: "We will sit by the waterfalls and hanging gardens (((((((((((((((((((((ooOHMmm) (silence(song)))) strings that tell of palaces and creation. Our music of hearts, we'll run with the horses, through mountains and valleys, through mirages quickened at our imagining, seeing with ONE EYE @."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "The EYE of the oneness love, of burning desire to be as a lens to burn down all walls in humanity's heart."

The Eye of Prince: "WE SHALL REMIND ALL PEOPLES OF GOD. Our common bone restored all voices and senses flowing as the ocean rested on seraphim wings."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "Eye shall take our song and make it known for man to sing. They shall listen and feel with their heart, our passion for each other and for them. All voices will be as one."

The Eye of Prince: "With flowers in our hair, gathered by the forests, together with trees, Gaia is us."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "All creatures will sit by our feet, we all will be so blissful. Because Mother Earth will speak to us with her soft calm voice."

The Eye of Prince: "And we will know what she says before she even speaks and laughter will be the clouds."

Mother Earth, Gaia: "Sing now my daughters and sons, your song is like silk, covering me, oh how harmonious it is to have you here in this time on me, as I birth the world into the Golden Age."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "Yes, we knew what she would say. That's why we are here, gathering more flowers and crystals as offerings to her.

The Eye of Prince: *Counting the gemstones.* "Lapis Lazuli offered to her rivers, Amethyst offered at her heart space, Rainbows as tears of joy. Spirits of devotion and agape."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "I have the permission of our Divine Father God to be here and play with you. As innocence kids we are. How lovely to be met by your smile and .... ah, how I desire for you to finish my words. I know you already knew what I would say. My heart is smiling with joy while I play on my harp."

The Eye of Prince: "Yes Butterfly, eye feel the shapes of your sounds, tetahedra of garnet. Eye shall blow bamboo flute to the forest nymphs dance horns of pan and joyous ecstacy (((((ah)))))(( Harp OF HEAVEN(()))))))))) PLAY that distant stars descend upon our horizons, you are the MOUTH OF GOD 7."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "Oh, how our song enhance the life we've here on earth. The Mouth of God is delicate, I shall play with the tune like silk touching His Mouth. It's by light and love I have for Mother Earth and her inhabitants."

The Eye of Prince: "Yes, this truly wonderous. Creation. Being. Love. Loving."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "My harp will not be dusted by the ego of man, but to be loved by me. But not me alone, but by all who know its worth."

The Eye of Prince: "And it is worth a million lifetimes of splendora, pink thoughts and healing frequencies, solfreggio. You are the bosom of Mother. Warm. Full. Milk. Honey."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "It's the taste of warm, full, milk, honey that make man sweet. They become enchanted and their smile is worth more than the bosom alone. I yearned for them to gather themselves fragments of bliss, to be fully blissful."

The Eye of Prince: "You are the jewel of she that hears the whispers of water. The dancer in PANDORA."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "The song must take a silent note, we must not exhausted our harp and flute. Let's be for a while in this silence.. and contemplate on the Love of our Divine Parents."

The Eye of Prince: "Yes. (o) in a space of zero."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: So it is. *Flutter and fly away from the Harp*

- # *Flying back after a little while...*

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: "Shall I name you The Eye of Prince. You who see me with clarity and purity."

The Eye of Prince: "Yes. Do name me. This an honour to be called Eye of prince, given by the heart of she. There is no stain in your eyes, you are the linen of mary, the cotton and shroud of yeshua, the healing of hands."

Crystallized ƸӜƷ: *Flutter away...*

My Sweetness.

When the holy bell rings, arise my love, my Miracle, do not look after me, just know that I'm your shadow, I will follow you with each step you take. I might not be your prince in this lifetime, but I'll certainly love you as a lover loves himself.

When the holy bell rings twice, and darkness surrounds your being, don't look down my love, look up to the sky where all stars lies.

When the holy bell rings the third time and you haven't seen the sun yet, don't be anxious for me, my dear; your shadow. Know that the moon will lighten up your way as you look forward without any doubt of what to do, march now towards your goal with easy steps.

The moon and the stars lend me a helping hand to be there for you every step of your way in the dark hours. This is my promise; light is always within your heart. And you will see the sun in a different light, for it will be lightly caressing and kissing your skin with its warmth when it rises again in the morning.

There is so much love in this universe for you to indulge yourself into. Ask and you will receive, knock and the door will be open, believe and you will see. Have faith, if not in me, then at least in yourself. Remember what I told you, be your Higher Self and remember your royalty. I've known you long before we met, and that is what I see in this lifetime, when I look into your eyes.

We are as one in two bodies, and the love I feel deep down my heart, is the love I know you have within you as well. That's the only reason for me to believe in you. I believe you can make wonder wherever you go, by merely be there with your royalties and beauty without even to saying a word. Your presence is enough for a man to bow his head to silently or even loudly contemplate the love and beauty in his own inner Goddess.

If you still can't hear the holy bell ring in your inner ears, knows that deep down you already are the holy bell when you spoke words of wisdom and clarity with your soft firm voice. Your love for the world is what sustain you and it's what remain inside my heart endlessly.

These words are not written to be read out loud for those who can't read only, but also to those who can't hear to silently feeling the vibration inside their core. They all know about Miracle and I pray, they might also understand what Miracle stands for. Who are they? Little did they know, that Miracle is in their hearts and they too must believe in themselves to understand that they are Miracles as well.

That way, they will protect you... my Miracle, my love. I ask them to keep this little secret, to never speak of you in an ill manners. Because you're to me Holy and you're to be holy, complete and whole; in all ways.

I ask of you, to see yourself as whole and holy, sit on your throne and know your worth, that's the only way you'll protect my kingdom of heaven and me with my Miracle without any fault. Remember this little secret that I yearned to whisper in your ear if I was to be there beside you; Miracle is you, you're Miracle; Whoever you think you are.

Tell me now, what do you want? Tell the universe of your desire, Miracle, and always focus with accuracy of the thing you wish to have and know with certainty that you will receive it. Feels it, that you are the lover of my life, and you shall be treated with respect and honor.

Why wouldn't I give my lover what she so dearly desire, didn't she know that I AM her Universe and she is my sweetness I secretly tucked inside my own inner depth of soul?

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

I'm Your Shadow, You're My Light.

I sat by the riverside and watched the midnight sun fade into the night sky, in that moment I made a true revelation of our love for each other. I realize that I'm your shadow and you're my light. By the morning I'll be your light and you my shadow at night - we have never been separated even for a short moment. We are one breath closer to each other than what I ever thought we were. We are so entangled as one soul in two bodies that we couldn't discern ourselves from each other.

Every breath you take is me breathing into your existence. Our love is fulfilled and we have our midnight sun in our day to day life time, in darkness I'm your light, and in the morning glory you're my shadow all over again. We'll forever be as one uniting under and below the heaven skies.

You're beautiful. Your light shines through, and even the darkness couldn't encompass you, because I'm your lens. It's by my burning desire for your well being in all ways that had made me completely desire less and humbled. Your will is my will, without you I'm merely darkness who knows nothing about true inner light; you.

What I've been seeing without me was truly something within me. I who craved to taste euphoria, hasn't yet tasted it, but bliss has followed my path and watched over my happiness. I needn't return to take another road, but walking firmly forward with full faith and trust in you; divinity.

Must there always be light in your life, so you will always see me, your shadow.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Min Hverdag Og Eventyr På Moder Jord.

I dag følgte jeg lillesøsteren min og datteren hennes til togstasjonen. Jeg var ikke alene om å ta følge med dem, men moren min og mine to nieser var også med. Vi tenkte først at vi skulle ta bussen ned til byen også deretter ta bussen videre til strandtorget, men jeg tenkte på Kimmy som har med seg barnevognen og selv om svogeren min ville ha kjørt henne tilbake til togstasjonen, men barnevognen ville ikke ha passet inn i baggasjerommet, for det har vi prøvd. Jeg tenkte det høyt og hun var enig med meg, derfor ombestemte vi oss og ble igjen på togstasjonen inntil Kimmy drar med toget.

Jeg skriver sjeldent om livet mitt, men akkurat nå passer det veldig godt å bare fletter inn hverdagen min med eventyret mitt. Jeg har en ide om å skrive et eventyr for små barn og for voksne mennesker til å lese, men det for være til en annen gang. Tilbake til hverdagen min;

Mens vi satt der lenge på stasjonen, spanderte jeg så klart på familien min. Jeg bestilte varm sjokolade melk til niesene mine, te og suppe til meg selv, og kaffe til moren min, Kimmy var ikke tilstede da, for hun hadde allerede dratt til narvesen for å kjøpe seg noe for å spise mens Angela sover søtt i vognen sin.

Jo, her kommer det jeg vil snakke om, men først må jeg forklare hva som skjedde - (Jeg har alltid trodd jeg er dårlig til å forklare og sjeldent liker å forklare meg for andre om hva som plager meg og hva som utgjør oppførselen min, men denne gangen legger jeg til side den troen og skrive fra hjertet mitt med et rolig tempo.) det som skjedde var at jeg spiste blomkål suppe, som var igjen og fikk halv pris på det.

*Ler* Det er så typisk meg å ønsker å spise noe så lett som suppe. Poenget mitt er at jeg tror jeg ble syk etter suppen, pluss det jeg spiste på morgenen, spaghetti fra boks! Jeg tenkte lenge at det måtte være det som fikk meg til å føle meg så dårlig innvendig, det svømte kjøtt og blomkål suppe som var igjen i magen min, for en herlig følelser det er å ville kaste opp (not.)

Dette var da jeg oppdaget da jeg kom hjem, kroppen sank ned til et veldig lavt temperatur, eller kanskje det var høyt? Jeg vet ikke, men jeg fikk frysninger over hele kroppen og følte som jeg ville få feber, men akkurat nå som jeg fikk spist i meg et eple føler jeg meg bedre. Det er akkurat som utsagnet; Eat an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Moren min tilbydde meg fisk og ris, men jeg følte en kvalme så fort jeg luktet på maten, så jeg valgte å spise et eple istedet. Det fikk meg til å tenke at det er på tide å slutte med å spise kjøtt og velger en sunnere kost?

Hele denne episoden fikk meg til å ligge rolig under dyna og konverserte med Guddommelig Mor og Guddommelig Far. Jeg spurte dem en rekker spørsmål, som f.eks - Er det greit å bli syk? Ville ikke det være en byrde for andre at jeg er syk? "Nei, ingenting av det er sant, for du er hverken en byrde eller en pest bare fordi kroppen plutselig følte for å skrus ned eller opp på temperaturet." Det hørtes egentlig veldig barnslig ut å prate med noen som de fleste ikke tror på, men for meg er det veldig ekte. Jeg mener at det er en Guddommelig kraft som fødet meg og plasserte meg her på Moder Jord, Hun er også en foreldre for meg, like ekte som mine biologiske foreldrer.

Det er eventyret som jeg snakker om. Hvem skulle ha trodd at Moder Jord er virkelig levende som også har en stemme i å si hva vi gjør mot henne og ikke bare mot henne, men mot oss selv også, hvorfor skulle hun ikke si noe? Hun elsker oss jo!? Jeg ror meg litt bort, men dette er min lidenskap. Jeg føler at jeg kjemper for en sak, men denne saken står jeg ikke alene om!

Uansett, det jeg mener er at jeg har alltid følt meg som en byrde bare fordi jeg føler meg skjør og blir lett syk, den lille troen som ble plassert i bevisstheten min siden jeg var et lite barn. Jeg rammet av en sykdom som kalles for asma. Det tok pusten av meg i mange lange måneder, og moren min måtte bære meg i armen hennes hver natt for at jeg kunne puste og sove fredelig.

Dette går enda lengre tilbake til at jeg og familien min egentlig var båtflyktninger. Ser du, jeg kjempet selv etter alle disse årene helt siden jeg var liten av, hvem kan tro at jeg er så sterk, som klarte meg så fint som til nå? Men jeg kunne ikke ha gjort det alene, uten mine foreldrer og de som var rundt meg som ville mitt beste. Dette får meg til å føle meg tryggere på livet og på de som virkelig ønsker å hjelpe meg, selv om det kan være uenigheter oss i mellom.

*Ler* Jeg er så flink til å ro meg bort, men alt henger sammen som du ser. Hvis jeg ikke har gått igjennom alt det, så ville jeg ikke ha noe å referere tilbake til og sammenligne med. Det er som å lære igjen på nytt å unngå å bli skadet, men egentlig så er det bare å huske igjen sin egen Guddommelighet.

Det er en langt historie, som jeg nokså kommer til å fortelle deg senere, men saken er at jeg følte meg mye bedre etter å ha lyttet til Guddommelig Far og Guddommelig Mor, med andre ord, de er et høyre bevissthet en kroppen min. Det er den bevisstheten som fikk meg til å føle meg bedre, og det bildet der moren min ønsker å spise meg levende var bare en tro om at jeg var en byrde for henne.

*Ler* Jeg er så barnslig, men ærlighet varer lengst. Sannheten er at jeg var redd for å dø, og virker svak og at hun kanskje ikke ville elske meg mer og ville forlate meg i syke sengen, men samtidig så føler jeg at jeg har stoltheten min, en sta side ved meg som ønsker å klare meg selv og ikke ville vise min svakhet. Og ja, etter stund kom moren min faktisk ned å be meg om å komme opp for å spise, men jeg var trofast mot kroppen min, for jeg følte jo en kvalme av lukten av stekt fisk. Jeg fortalte henne hva jeg følte der og da, og hun sa faktisk dette;

"Kjære deg, ikke spis noe som ikke er bra for kroppen din, du må hvile masse og du vet, jeg vil bare at du skal bli frisk, det er det jeg ønsker for deg. På morgenen skal jeg tilbrede noe godt til deg, så ikke tenk så mye, bare hvil deg. Er det noe annet du vil spise nå?"

Jeg tenkte straks på eple, for jeg føler at det er riktig å spise noe frisk og godt som ikke lukter død. *Ler igjen* Jeg følte meg ganske bortskjemt der og da, men hvis jeg ikke lar henne vise meg kjærlighet så vil jeg fortsatt holder på den troen om at jeg er uelsket. Derfor var det bare godt for meg å motta kjærlighet. Det var et utrolig godt forsøk for meg å føle meg bedre igjen. Og det du ber om skal du få. Jeg fikk eplet mitt og er til og med frisk nok til å skrive denne historien til deg.

Den som er syk skal få lov til å føle seg syk og heales i sitt eget tempo, og den som vil ta vare på deg, skal få lov til å ta vare på deg. Den personen skal gjøre det ut ifra sitt eget indre medlidenhet og ikke av tvang. Jeg hadde ikke ønsket å tvinge mamma til å være sittende fast med meg, hvis jeg var dødende nær, men jeg vet godt at innerst inne, så vil hun så klart være nær meg før jeg tar av og flyr min vei, men dette skal gjøres fra hjertet og ikke fra at man skal late som man er 'god.' Dessuten, hvorfor skal man late som når man egentlig er god fra før av innerst inne?

Poenget mitt er at begge skal ærlig innrømmer for seg selv og for hverandre (hvis de ønsker det,) etterhvert med å gi slipp på "skyldfølelsen." Det er ingen som har skylden på sykdommen, og selv om vi hadde funnet hundre tusen grunner for det så hadde ikke løst problemet. Vi trenger bare å stole på den Guddommelig kraften i oss, og ha tillit til at vi kan ta ansvar selv for det vi har gjort og heales fra 'bedragelige tanker' om skyldfølelse og skam.

Hva er så skamfull i å føle seg redd og liten? Et barn hadde ikke tenkt den tanken, med mindre vi planter det i barnet bevissthet. Så vær så snill, tenk to ganger før du skjefter på barnet ditt, og ikke mindre ditt indre barn. Dets eksistens var for at du skal huske hvem du er, at du elsker og er uskyldig. Vi kan ikke eksisterer uten hverandre. Hvis et lite pusle spill er borte fra bevisstheten, ville ikke bildet bli fullført.

Og ja, Moder Jord har en stemme i dette. Hun er ekte, like ekte som at jeg sitter her på den andre siden av verden å skrive til deg. Hun vil ditt beste... men hva gjorde du mot henne og likevel fortsetter å gjøre mot henne? Du ga henne kanskje skylden for alt eksosen og forgiftningen av maten, men det er på tide og lete etter sannheten. Hun har bare vært der og passet på at du får nok og føler deg elsket. Hvor ligger bevisstheten din nå? Vil du husker nå at du er med på å bidra til forgiftning av vann og luften du puster i.

Jeg skal være ærlig med deg, under min egen forstyrret og dramatisk oppvåkning kunne jeg lukte LUFTA vi så meget puster inn, og det LUKTER SHITT!! Det lukter faen meg bedriten.. (beklager for banningen, jeg liker ikke å banne, men jeg skal bare skrive fra hjertet og det kommer som det kommer.) Lukten av brent røkt av dødd hud... det er hennes hud og hår du brenner for å få energi til elektrisitet. Kjære vene. Jeg for bare være mer bevisst fra nå av om hva jeg gjør mot min egen Moder Jord og min biologiske mor som samarbeide med å bringe meg hit til Jorda og ikke minst meg selv.

.............. skjønner du hvor jeg kommer fra nå? Hvor vi alle egentlig kommer fra? Vi er alle i hennes livmor akkurat nå og hun lar oss vokser slik at vi er sterke nok til å dra avgårde på vår egen eventyr og kommer trygt hjem igjen etter en lang reise. (Det er egentlig den hverdagen vi lever i.) Hva velger vi nå? Eller hva vil du velger nå? Jeg mener ikke å fortelle deg hva du skal gjøre, det får du tenker på selv. Jeg vil bare skrive fra min egen opplevelser og velger å være mer bevisst. Jeg elsker dere alle sammen, derfor vil jeg ikke leker barnslig med dere lenger. Jeg må vokse opp nå.

Btw, jeg er frisk som en fisk, det kalles indre healing i bevisstheten. *Smiler fornøyd.*

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Change for The Better.

I long to go back home. "But home is already in your heart." Is it? At time I feel terrible broken and exhausted. The agony and pain of losing control suffocate me with an incredible tension and other time it numb my senses. "You can't keep controlling forever, change is inevitable." "Change is something that everyone is going through, whether good or bad, but actually, it's all good. If you resist change, it will of course feels painful, but if you let go, and just let if flow, you will feel more at ease, you know."

Yes, I guess everyone is forced to change at some point in life to be more comfortable with the idea that their comfort zone is expanding. I used to asked everyone else questions that I already know and act all 'dumb and naive' so that they will think that they're smart, but I never meant that they're any 'smarter' than me.. if you know what I mean. I must quit 'acting' that way, because I do know a lot.

I want to embrace my own inner voice and wisdom from now on. I have knowledge that is buried deep down inside me which I want to use to my own advantage till the time my friends and family (even people that I don't know) needs my guiding light. "To be a guiding light, you must first be your own guiding light." "Stop searching for answer outside yourself, while you already have all the answer you ever need inside your heart."

Sometime doing nothing makes you want to find something to do, but actually while you're doing 'nothing' you gets to 'do' a lot more that's more important than just 'doing' something to avoid boredom. I don't know if you get me or not on this. But what I mean, is ... "The doing arise from the heart and make you feel more fulfilled than if you blindly do something to get out of the silence and break the tranquility, and perhaps you even regret what you did." I'm not giving up on English, just so you know. *LOL* My inner voice is saving me again.

But still, I'm skeptic and not sure whether you understand that or not! "You're writing to yourself, there's no need to worry about others.. make it simple and easy for yourself rather than trying to make people understand your writing." That's true. I still learn to let go of the need of 'saving' people.... "Save yourself first and heal yourself first, be an example for other rather than lecturing them on what to do or not to do." "Give people the permission to shine their own light while you're shining your light."

"Everyone know already what to do, they only need to believe in themselves and be confident in who they are, this is just like what you're going through right now... is there anything else you would rather do than doing what you love to do?"

*Smiles* I wouldn't do anything that I don't want to do... why am I so skeptic and afraid of myself anyway? The light that is mine is not that powerful that makes people blind, is it? So why am I so afraid? "It's fear, fear of not being accepted for who you are, and fear for not being in control." "That's why change is so important to you right now, change of perception and your own reality... change from fear to love."

I want to embrace the divine love in me and while I'm doing that, I'll shine my light... at least turn it up a few notches. The truth is, I'm feeling more empowered than I used to, so it's positive after all when it comes to change. I want change... not within (and without) myself only, but change in the environment as well. What do you think? Do you think we need to change? And if yes, wouldn't it be great to change together for the better?

Sayonara, I'll speak with you again soon.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Surrender

It's ok to be in this place of sadness and longing,
Just for a little while longer before I have to get going again,
It's ok, there's nothing to be afraid of.
All I ever need now is to surrender,
Surrender to the truth,
that being in love is bittersweet here on Mother Earth.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Min Skinnende Stjerne

Jeg satt lenge og fundret over hvorfor jeg følte slik jeg følte for deg. Det er en merkelig ting som jeg ikke har forstått meg på. Hjertet lever på en underlig måte sitt eget liv, den gjøre store fanfare hver gang jeg skal møte deg eller så lite som å høre fra deg. Det er en snev av redsel samtidig gleder. Jeg føler meg som en liten støvkorn som blir svupet opp og blåst vekk når du er i nærheten.

Du er som den majestiske sola som skinner opp, dine stråler når alle levende ting, og som en liten spire ønsker jeg selv å gro meg vakker til en blomst slik at jeg kunne nå opp til deg, bare for at du kunne se meg, og favner meg i dine varmer gløder. Jeg beskriver meg som liten og små, og kanskje en smule skjør, men jeg finner ikke noe bedre beskrivelser når jeg er i nærheten av deg. Jeg får meg ikke til å sammenligne meg selv med din storslåtte skjønnhet, men likevel føler jeg meg ett med deg. Jeg er så oppslukt i deg at selvet mitt forsvinner inni deg for hvert sekund som tikker avgårde.

Jeg reiser ofte tilbake i tid, bare for å oppleve igjen den følelsen av å møte deg for første gang. Det er så mange glimrende søte minner som jeg kan husker, som er gravert i mitt hjerte. Det er den uskylden ved første møte jeg er mest begeistret over. Det var den uskylden hvor vår reise begynte for første gang sammen. Selv om det var en smule med bitterhet og angst litt lengre utover den magiske reisen våres, fordi vi begge hverken kjenner oss selv eller den andre, men likevel har vi klart å løse opp i misforståelsene våres og knyttet et sterkere bånd med hverandre.

Det er det båndet som jeg mange ganger prøver å klippe av, men brått føler at jeg lengter igjen til den velkjente følelsen av kjærlighet som fyller opp alle celler i mitt hjerte. Jeg blir trist, men ikke deprimert, jeg blir glad, men ikke lykkelig. Det er som å surfe på kjærlighetsbølger, hvor spenning og mysterier utfolder seg i det uendelige.

Jeg vet ikke hvilken skjebne som har brakt deg inn i livet mitt, eller hvem Engel som førte meg til deg, men uansett hva eller hvem det skulle være, takker jeg for din eksistens. Ved å vite at du eksisterer, lære jeg å kjenne meg selv. Jeg kjenner ikke bare mine svakheter, men mine indre styrker, og visstnok mer enn bare det. Jeg oppdaget mine skjulte drømmer, som virker uoppnåelige, men som jeg likevel begjære å fullføre. Jeg vet for mange, (og kanskje for deg også) er drømmene mine som fantasier, ubegripelig og lite troverdig til å anse som virkelig, men jeg vet min eksistens er mer enn et legeme.

Jeg har alltid visst at det finnes en kjærlighet som overgår den alminnelige kjærligheten vi har her på jorden. Kjærlighet som er ego basert varer ikke lenger, og er ikke ekte nok til å føle seg ubetinget elsket, men selv etter mye svikt og manipulasjon fra mennesker nær meg, har jeg forstått at jeg har en lengsel til det ultimate kjærligheten; ubetinget og guddommelig.

Ved å elske deg, husker jeg igjen hva ubetinget kjærlighet var. Og det er ikke en slik kjærlighet som bare øyner kan se og ører kan høre. Du er en utfordring for meg til å elske uselvisk, en utfordring til å sprenge alle grenser og regler på hva kjærlighet er og ikke er. Å elske deg er ikke å bære en tittel som din elskede eller kjæreste. Å elske deg handler ikke om å binde deg innenfor rammen på hva du ønsker å gjøre eller ikke gjøre. Jeg er ikke ute etter å beseire deg, selv om du kanskje føler det slik.

Etter mange konfrontasjoner med meg selv, vet jeg at jeg har brukt ditt nærvær til å føle meg elsket, men jo mer jeg holder deg igjen, føler jeg at jeg kveler meg selv, for sannheten er at jeg føler meg mer uelsket enn jeg egentlig vil føler. Jeg vet at jeg har vært svak og ga etter når jeg egentlig skulle gi slipp på deg, men jeg har latt meg selv faller for dyp, og det gjør vondt hver gang jeg skal trekke meg.

Jeg beklager for at det er så klisje aktig med en slik brev, men som vi begge vet så bruker jeg brevene mine for å formidle meg selv med dybde og klarhet, for det er akkurat slik jeg er. Jeg har rom nok til å kunne føler andres lengsel til å være den de i virkelighet er uten å bli manipulert eller føler seg mindre verdt. Jeg er beæret over at jeg har den viten av å kunne føle andre i mitt hjerte og sjel.

Men av og til, undrer jeg på om noen forstår min egen lengsel til å være den jeg virkelig er foran andre 110 prosent. Jeg vil alltid elsker deg, men jeg er ikke ute etter å bli avhengig i å ha deg for meg selv, for det er ikke slik jeg elsker. Mitt ønsker for andre og for meg selv er at alle kunne være sitt autentisk selv med gleder og letthet. Og det er akkurat det jeg ønsker for deg hvert eneste øyeblikk jeg puster inn den samme luften som du puster i deg.

Jeg vil alltid husker at jeg ble kjent med en jente som speilte tilbake til meg de fineste og flotteste sider ved meg selv som jeg kan være stolt over. Selv om vi befinner oss på hver vår side av landet og er i vår egen verden uten noe som helst form for kommunikasjon, så vit at vi er allerede i hverandres bevissthet.

Det er for meg mirakuløs å kunne føler savn etter deg med hele meg, akkurat slik jeg er i min lille verden, mitt univers. Du er som en liten stjerne i mitt univers der jeg kan romme deg og mange andre; det er i mitt hjerte, det er der du er til for meg, ubevegelig i all evighet med ro og fred. Hører du ekkoet som roper tilbake til deg i ditt eget indre, jeg elsker deg? For det er du. Du er elsket, elsket... e-l-s-k-e-t min elskede. Skinn så mye du vil i mitt univers, vær ditt kongelig selv. Deres høyhet med kjærlighet og glede. For det er slik jeg ønsker å gjøre foran deg uten å holde meg selv igjen.

Klokken tikker endeløs... tikkende i vei, for hvert hjertepuls, du er så levende. Hører du ekkoet i ditt eget sinn? Hviskende.... om en kjærlighet så sann og ren; min skinnende stjerne, skinn nå opp din egen vei, og følg din uoppnåelig drøm.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Believe in Miracle

When there are noises all around me, and the world is too much, I'll let myself flow to the inner shrine of Miracles -and bathe myself in her presence. She always draws me closer to her heart-space sanctuary with her soft firm voice of golden light. She caresses and nurtures my being, while purifying my mind of it's sickness.

She knows the yearning of her beloved, as well as her own sadness. She desires nothing else for herself -but to be who she truly is. Her royalties and prestige is not of arrogance and ignorance, she never commanded anyone to heed her words. Even though sometimes it may seem otherwise, her command is only a request to strengthen the young heart to know her worth.

There's nothing she would rather say than to tell you the truth, and the truth is, she is being the truth. She's like an old grandmother who loves her children and grandchildren. At times she is being too wise for her own good. But she will rather be dimmed for being cold and careless rather than let her beloved repeat the same endless mistake to no avail.

Tell me, is there anybody out there who knows their worth who can see, really see her for who she is, because she has eyes that penetrates the illusion and sees you for who you are, she can really see behind your masks and frenzy demeanor. She sees your glorious attributes and innocence being, as her Divine Father God sees her.

Her cold demeanor is a protection shield from those who aren't aware of what they're doing to themselves, and thus carelessly harming her sensitive heart and soul. She loves herself, yes she does, you might think she's all self-centered and egoistic, but all she does is take care of her own being with charm and wits. She knows herself from the inside out and is without a doubt, that she will be judge for being cold, hard and ruthless, but if you really know her, you will understand she is taking responsibility for her own actions and faults.

She is really that simple, because she knows how important it's to keep balance and order in her universe. Her love is selfless and unique. Why would anyone harm her for being who she is? Why would anyone think that she doesn't love them for who they are? Because the truth is, she doesn't care about how they act or what they do, as long as they're happy and content with who they are from the inside out and from the outside in.

Ah, they think too much, all busy living in their head, forgetting about their heart, analyzing every word she say, every action she take. They take it way too personally when she stand up for herself and tell them what she wants and needs. She doesn't demand anything without knowing her worth, because she knows, that's why she wants to make sure you know it too.

When she kept her silence and refused to talk, it's not because she has turn her back on you, she just wants you to learn your mistake and know your worth. She knows herself better than you know her, that's why she won't let you trample on her heart-space sanctuary carelessly.

Know your worth! Know your worth! She makes no threats without a reason. If you truly know her, you will understand her Divine being, delicate yet determined when she makes up her mind. She has her butterfly essence and with her butterfly wings, she will truly flee if you're being dishonest and flaky. She meant what she said, she said what she meant, I suggest you to; be loyal and faithful 100 percent.

Take my advice and love yourself, truly love yourself for who you are, and you will understand how much she loves you. Believe in Miracle and she will show wonders in your life, this is her request, if you want her for who she is, you better abide and take the quest.

Miracle ƸӜƷ

The End of The Chase

I thought I would never love someone like I love you. The constant search for you had made me blind to the fact that you were always near enough for me to feel every inch of you. You're so tangible, I didn't know that you were so fragile until I touched you with my words. You're soaking up everything I say and think, you've become transparent, but still visible to the eyes.

My mind fooled me to think that you were hiding from me, but I was the one who didn't realize that you were always beside me and within me. The mirror I was looking at was actually you looking back at me. I feel so ashamed for not being faithful, but until now, you still forgive me. How can I make it up for the lost time where I've been looking elsewhere but into my own heart? What do I do now with the fear that I might not remember or recognize you again without the mirror that has been reflecting back at me?

Will I be able to pour out my love to you like I use to with my poetry and artistic way of writing? There's so many unanswered questions, which I actually know the answer to, but still not sure whether they're real or just my imaginations making it all up.

I know one thing is certain, your song still rings in my ears, I still hear it clearly. Are they the guiding tunes you're playing for me to hear, to let me know that you're forever faithful and loyal while you stand by my side like you always have?

I'm so sorry that I've let you down so many times by running away whenever you're close by, the only reason was because I was afraid your love would burst open my broken heart which I tried so hard to repair.

You watched over me like a little seed that I am, long to sprout and bloom, and you already knew that my longing for you was real since you never leave my side. You stood by and shielded me from reckless storms and hurdles.

Your love reached through the wall that I've build to protect myself from others opinions about me. All the while I thought I was good for nothing, but you were the one who always encouraged me to write and phrase my feelings with honesty without fear of being silly and weak. And before I knew it, your love breaks the crust around my human heart to billion of pieces till they become powder of dust. Your gentle nudge always encouraging me to look deep within my heart, and show me that the light within my heart was my own divinity and nothing else.

I always thought that you taunted me and didn't want to reveal yourself because I was not worthy of your love, but that wasn't true at all. It was the mind that held me back from exposing my love to you, and made me believe that I must prove myself worthy before you will open up your arms to embrace me into your kingdom of heaven. But it was me who has forgot that I'm not a beggar, but a princess who has been away from her own castle for far too long.

I still want to make myself worthy to be your devotee without any flaw, because I love you that much to know that you deserve everything that's not flake and false. My vessel is yours to purify and love, my dear Miracle. Because we both know, that we're one and the same. I made myself believe that I was the one who's chasing you, but in the end, I am the one who has been caught by you.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

A Gift Is A Gift

She doesn´t have to tell me her stories to let me know what she has been through, we are not different from one another; she has feelings, and I have that too. I love to spend my time in her presence, I used to tell her how rare the moments are once we´re alone together with no interruption from the outside world. It´s a privilege and should be enjoyed to the most. When she is off guard, I would steal a glance and lock myself into her gaze, and I could see what is hidden there behind those mysterious eyes.

Shhs, don´t tell her! She is not suppose to know that I wish the same for her, as she wish for herself. Oh, don´t bother to ask, her wish, it´s a secret that she would never tell. How do I know about her secret? To be honest, I don´t know. I assume, that she has a reason to keep it to herself, all I know is that it belongs to her and its hers all alone. Why must I make a fuss and demand to know something I already know?

When she talks and tells me her fairytales, I´m all ears, listening attentively to everything she says. I would nod and smile, and other times I would get upset and surprised!

These men, why didn´t they appreciate her devotion? Didn´t they understand she´s most beautiful when she´s free and wild? It´s absurd to think she has to be controlled and suffocate her with compromises and rules. And how could they avoid to look into her eyes and see her longing for a sacred union? Didn´t they look past her fierce act? Didn´t they understand, it´s her armour she wears to protect herself. Oh, yes, she´s strong, there´s no doubt about that, but she´s still a little girl who is easily bruised and hurt at heart. Did they, somehow mistaken her kindness for weakness?

Why didn´t they respect her space when she really needs it without fussing and fighting, and blame her for being cold and careless? Don´t they know? She cares too much without realizing that she does? It´s the world she carries on her shoulders, oh my, I wonder if she knows. Sigh, how can they possibly demand to deserve her at her best, when they couldn´t handle her when she´s at her worst? Why are they so wishy-washy when they suppose to be men who leads the way and knows her worth?

But what do I know. I´m only a woman, or more like a wombman. I am without strength to carry her on my arms, or brave enough to protect her from highway man. What can I do, when all I do is to love. My love can´t wipe away her tears or carry her burden, it can´t do a thing, when she doesn´t want to receive it, I know, its useless to use force against her precious heart. I refuse to use force against her will. That´s not how I love and surely not something I would be proud of doing.

All these things I could have done for her, and more by being her devotee, the only thing left is to pray to God; let her meet someone who knows her worth and have ambitions to rebuild this world. Let him be a fair man with justice and elegance. Let him be diplomatic and wise beyond his years. Let him seek not to hurt but to mend broken hearts and kindle a spark in peoples dream, and mostly hers, when she sees no other way to make her dream come true.

Let him be of air to cool her temper down, and makes summer breeze in her winter heart. Let him be brave enough to be himself, and sees past her human heart. Because this man must know what lies in there and seize the moment, to give her courage to be who she is meant to be, a Divine being with much love to share. Let him see the comedy in every drama, so he can uplift her spirit and ease her fear.

You thought I gave up my devotion and flee to someone else? No, that would be to risky, I wouldn´t want her to loose another person who loves her for who she is. I´ll be her devotee in another way. There´re many ways to love, and love has many ways to express itself, but giving up is not an option.

I write all this, but I´m none of this. Here take my job as her devotee, but don´t mistake this for work, it´s not work only pleasure, to love such a precious soul as hers. Don´t misunderstand me, I haven´t resigned and quit being her devotee, why would I quit, I love her can´t you see? But the gift I gave her has been returned back to me.

A gift is a gift, she´s free to do whatever she wants with it, but a gift returned is a gift without purpose and has no value to neither her or me. But I don´t have a heart to throw it away. Alas, I decide to keep it safe, inside my heart, and hope that some day, far into the future or maybe in another lifetime where we cross each others path, and I surely, without a doubt will likely fall in love with her again, offer my gift once again.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Her Presence

I adore her. I don’t know if she knows that I see her with admiration. I love the way she presents herself. She is quite young, but wise for her age. There is something about her that I cant tell. She’s a rebel and quite unique in a non-flashy way. Oh, don’t take me wrong, she dresses very well, you would be stunned by her looks. It’s how she carries herself that you will be amazed at. I love the way she walks and talks. She seems like she is never in a hurry, she moves with such grace and style. She is well protected inside her opal blue and pink crystal rose-bud. She has not blossomed yet, but there is no need to hurry her, she’s best when she can take her time and bloom. You know the petals? Yes, they’re surrounding her, caressing her in a non-protective way. She is free, but it seems like she is in a maze of frustration, maybe she misunderstood the petals for being too strict against her body?

I'm not sure if she knows that the weight she carries on her shoulders is too heavy for even her. She once told me that it's something about her age. She is free to explore her options and be silly. Oh, you know that teenage rebellion stage she's in. She is self willed, but keeps her manners like royalty. Yes in my eyes, she deserves the title of queen, but she must first claim her throne. She's a princess and deep down she knows it, but if I tell her that, she will problably refuse it with a polite smile. As wise as I am, but foolish in her presence, I keep quiet and act as if she already agress with my treatment. She was made a princess and soon to be the Queen. Because you know; she deserves it after all. I treat her with respect and honor, and she knows it, but don´t mistakes me for being a servant, even though I might served her well. I am nothing but hers devotee, for her presence keeps me alive, you see?

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ