She doesn´t have to tell me her stories to let me know what she has been through, we are not different from one another; she has feelings, and I have that too. I love to spend my time in her presence, I used to tell her how rare the moments are once we´re alone together with no interruption from the outside world. It´s a privilege and should be enjoyed to the most. When she is off guard, I would steal a glance and lock myself into her gaze, and I could see what is hidden there behind those mysterious eyes.
Shhs, don´t tell her! She is not suppose to know that I wish the same for her, as she wish for herself. Oh, don´t bother to ask, her wish, it´s a secret that she would never tell. How do I know about her secret? To be honest, I don´t know. I assume, that she has a reason to keep it to herself, all I know is that it belongs to her and its hers all alone. Why must I make a fuss and demand to know something I already know?
When she talks and tells me her fairytales, I´m all ears, listening attentively to everything she says. I would nod and smile, and other times I would get upset and surprised!
These men, why didn´t they appreciate her devotion? Didn´t they understand she´s most beautiful when she´s free and wild? It´s absurd to think she has to be controlled and suffocate her with compromises and rules. And how could they avoid to look into her eyes and see her longing for a sacred union? Didn´t they look past her fierce act? Didn´t they understand, it´s her armour she wears to protect herself. Oh, yes, she´s strong, there´s no doubt about that, but she´s still a little girl who is easily bruised and hurt at heart. Did they, somehow mistaken her kindness for weakness?
Why didn´t they respect her space when she really needs it without fussing and fighting, and blame her for being cold and careless? Don´t they know? She cares too much without realizing that she does? It´s the world she carries on her shoulders, oh my, I wonder if she knows. Sigh, how can they possibly demand to deserve her at her best, when they couldn´t handle her when she´s at her worst? Why are they so wishy-washy when they suppose to be men who leads the way and knows her worth?
But what do I know. I´m only a woman, or more like a wombman. I am without strength to carry her on my arms, or brave enough to protect her from highway man. What can I do, when all I do is to love. My love can´t wipe away her tears or carry her burden, it can´t do a thing, when she doesn´t want to receive it, I know, its useless to use force against her precious heart. I refuse to use force against her will. That´s not how I love and surely not something I would be proud of doing.
All these things I could have done for her, and more by being her devotee, the only thing left is to pray to God; let her meet someone who knows her worth and have ambitions to rebuild this world. Let him be a fair man with justice and elegance. Let him be diplomatic and wise beyond his years. Let him seek not to hurt but to mend broken hearts and kindle a spark in peoples dream, and mostly hers, when she sees no other way to make her dream come true.
Let him be of air to cool her temper down, and makes summer breeze in her winter heart. Let him be brave enough to be himself, and sees past her human heart. Because this man must know what lies in there and seize the moment, to give her courage to be who she is meant to be, a Divine being with much love to share. Let him see the comedy in every drama, so he can uplift her spirit and ease her fear.
You thought I gave up my devotion and flee to someone else? No, that would be to risky, I wouldn´t want her to loose another person who loves her for who she is. I´ll be her devotee in another way. There´re many ways to love, and love has many ways to express itself, but giving up is not an option.
I write all this, but I´m none of this. Here take my job as her devotee, but don´t mistake this for work, it´s not work only pleasure, to love such a precious soul as hers. Don´t misunderstand me, I haven´t resigned and quit being her devotee, why would I quit, I love her can´t you see? But the gift I gave her has been returned back to me.
A gift is a gift, she´s free to do whatever she wants with it, but a gift returned is a gift without purpose and has no value to neither her or me. But I don´t have a heart to throw it away. Alas, I decide to keep it safe, inside my heart, and hope that some day, far into the future or maybe in another lifetime where we cross each others path, and I surely, without a doubt will likely fall in love with her again, offer my gift once again.
- Crystallized ƸӜƷ
Shhs, don´t tell her! She is not suppose to know that I wish the same for her, as she wish for herself. Oh, don´t bother to ask, her wish, it´s a secret that she would never tell. How do I know about her secret? To be honest, I don´t know. I assume, that she has a reason to keep it to herself, all I know is that it belongs to her and its hers all alone. Why must I make a fuss and demand to know something I already know?
When she talks and tells me her fairytales, I´m all ears, listening attentively to everything she says. I would nod and smile, and other times I would get upset and surprised!
These men, why didn´t they appreciate her devotion? Didn´t they understand she´s most beautiful when she´s free and wild? It´s absurd to think she has to be controlled and suffocate her with compromises and rules. And how could they avoid to look into her eyes and see her longing for a sacred union? Didn´t they look past her fierce act? Didn´t they understand, it´s her armour she wears to protect herself. Oh, yes, she´s strong, there´s no doubt about that, but she´s still a little girl who is easily bruised and hurt at heart. Did they, somehow mistaken her kindness for weakness?
Why didn´t they respect her space when she really needs it without fussing and fighting, and blame her for being cold and careless? Don´t they know? She cares too much without realizing that she does? It´s the world she carries on her shoulders, oh my, I wonder if she knows. Sigh, how can they possibly demand to deserve her at her best, when they couldn´t handle her when she´s at her worst? Why are they so wishy-washy when they suppose to be men who leads the way and knows her worth?
But what do I know. I´m only a woman, or more like a wombman. I am without strength to carry her on my arms, or brave enough to protect her from highway man. What can I do, when all I do is to love. My love can´t wipe away her tears or carry her burden, it can´t do a thing, when she doesn´t want to receive it, I know, its useless to use force against her precious heart. I refuse to use force against her will. That´s not how I love and surely not something I would be proud of doing.
All these things I could have done for her, and more by being her devotee, the only thing left is to pray to God; let her meet someone who knows her worth and have ambitions to rebuild this world. Let him be a fair man with justice and elegance. Let him be diplomatic and wise beyond his years. Let him seek not to hurt but to mend broken hearts and kindle a spark in peoples dream, and mostly hers, when she sees no other way to make her dream come true.
Let him be of air to cool her temper down, and makes summer breeze in her winter heart. Let him be brave enough to be himself, and sees past her human heart. Because this man must know what lies in there and seize the moment, to give her courage to be who she is meant to be, a Divine being with much love to share. Let him see the comedy in every drama, so he can uplift her spirit and ease her fear.
You thought I gave up my devotion and flee to someone else? No, that would be to risky, I wouldn´t want her to loose another person who loves her for who she is. I´ll be her devotee in another way. There´re many ways to love, and love has many ways to express itself, but giving up is not an option.
I write all this, but I´m none of this. Here take my job as her devotee, but don´t mistake this for work, it´s not work only pleasure, to love such a precious soul as hers. Don´t misunderstand me, I haven´t resigned and quit being her devotee, why would I quit, I love her can´t you see? But the gift I gave her has been returned back to me.
A gift is a gift, she´s free to do whatever she wants with it, but a gift returned is a gift without purpose and has no value to neither her or me. But I don´t have a heart to throw it away. Alas, I decide to keep it safe, inside my heart, and hope that some day, far into the future or maybe in another lifetime where we cross each others path, and I surely, without a doubt will likely fall in love with her again, offer my gift once again.
- Crystallized ƸӜƷ
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