Believe in Miracle

When there are noises all around me, and the world is too much, I'll let myself flow to the inner shrine of Miracles -and bathe myself in her presence. She always draws me closer to her heart-space sanctuary with her soft firm voice of golden light. She caresses and nurtures my being, while purifying my mind of it's sickness.

She knows the yearning of her beloved, as well as her own sadness. She desires nothing else for herself -but to be who she truly is. Her royalties and prestige is not of arrogance and ignorance, she never commanded anyone to heed her words. Even though sometimes it may seem otherwise, her command is only a request to strengthen the young heart to know her worth.

There's nothing she would rather say than to tell you the truth, and the truth is, she is being the truth. She's like an old grandmother who loves her children and grandchildren. At times she is being too wise for her own good. But she will rather be dimmed for being cold and careless rather than let her beloved repeat the same endless mistake to no avail.

Tell me, is there anybody out there who knows their worth who can see, really see her for who she is, because she has eyes that penetrates the illusion and sees you for who you are, she can really see behind your masks and frenzy demeanor. She sees your glorious attributes and innocence being, as her Divine Father God sees her.

Her cold demeanor is a protection shield from those who aren't aware of what they're doing to themselves, and thus carelessly harming her sensitive heart and soul. She loves herself, yes she does, you might think she's all self-centered and egoistic, but all she does is take care of her own being with charm and wits. She knows herself from the inside out and is without a doubt, that she will be judge for being cold, hard and ruthless, but if you really know her, you will understand she is taking responsibility for her own actions and faults.

She is really that simple, because she knows how important it's to keep balance and order in her universe. Her love is selfless and unique. Why would anyone harm her for being who she is? Why would anyone think that she doesn't love them for who they are? Because the truth is, she doesn't care about how they act or what they do, as long as they're happy and content with who they are from the inside out and from the outside in.

Ah, they think too much, all busy living in their head, forgetting about their heart, analyzing every word she say, every action she take. They take it way too personally when she stand up for herself and tell them what she wants and needs. She doesn't demand anything without knowing her worth, because she knows, that's why she wants to make sure you know it too.

When she kept her silence and refused to talk, it's not because she has turn her back on you, she just wants you to learn your mistake and know your worth. She knows herself better than you know her, that's why she won't let you trample on her heart-space sanctuary carelessly.

Know your worth! Know your worth! She makes no threats without a reason. If you truly know her, you will understand her Divine being, delicate yet determined when she makes up her mind. She has her butterfly essence and with her butterfly wings, she will truly flee if you're being dishonest and flaky. She meant what she said, she said what she meant, I suggest you to; be loyal and faithful 100 percent.

Take my advice and love yourself, truly love yourself for who you are, and you will understand how much she loves you. Believe in Miracle and she will show wonders in your life, this is her request, if you want her for who she is, you better abide and take the quest.

Miracle ƸӜƷ

The End of The Chase

I thought I would never love someone like I love you. The constant search for you had made me blind to the fact that you were always near enough for me to feel every inch of you. You're so tangible, I didn't know that you were so fragile until I touched you with my words. You're soaking up everything I say and think, you've become transparent, but still visible to the eyes.

My mind fooled me to think that you were hiding from me, but I was the one who didn't realize that you were always beside me and within me. The mirror I was looking at was actually you looking back at me. I feel so ashamed for not being faithful, but until now, you still forgive me. How can I make it up for the lost time where I've been looking elsewhere but into my own heart? What do I do now with the fear that I might not remember or recognize you again without the mirror that has been reflecting back at me?

Will I be able to pour out my love to you like I use to with my poetry and artistic way of writing? There's so many unanswered questions, which I actually know the answer to, but still not sure whether they're real or just my imaginations making it all up.

I know one thing is certain, your song still rings in my ears, I still hear it clearly. Are they the guiding tunes you're playing for me to hear, to let me know that you're forever faithful and loyal while you stand by my side like you always have?

I'm so sorry that I've let you down so many times by running away whenever you're close by, the only reason was because I was afraid your love would burst open my broken heart which I tried so hard to repair.

You watched over me like a little seed that I am, long to sprout and bloom, and you already knew that my longing for you was real since you never leave my side. You stood by and shielded me from reckless storms and hurdles.

Your love reached through the wall that I've build to protect myself from others opinions about me. All the while I thought I was good for nothing, but you were the one who always encouraged me to write and phrase my feelings with honesty without fear of being silly and weak. And before I knew it, your love breaks the crust around my human heart to billion of pieces till they become powder of dust. Your gentle nudge always encouraging me to look deep within my heart, and show me that the light within my heart was my own divinity and nothing else.

I always thought that you taunted me and didn't want to reveal yourself because I was not worthy of your love, but that wasn't true at all. It was the mind that held me back from exposing my love to you, and made me believe that I must prove myself worthy before you will open up your arms to embrace me into your kingdom of heaven. But it was me who has forgot that I'm not a beggar, but a princess who has been away from her own castle for far too long.

I still want to make myself worthy to be your devotee without any flaw, because I love you that much to know that you deserve everything that's not flake and false. My vessel is yours to purify and love, my dear Miracle. Because we both know, that we're one and the same. I made myself believe that I was the one who's chasing you, but in the end, I am the one who has been caught by you.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

The Story of My Life

I was ready to tell

the story of my life

but the ripple of tears

and the agony of my heart

wouldn't let me

I began to stutter

saying a word here and there

and all along i felt

as tender as a crystal

ready to be shattered

In this stormy sea

we call life

all the big ships

come apart

board by board

How can i survive

riding a lonely

little boat

with no oars

and no arms

My boat did finally break

by the waves

and i broke free

as i tied myself

to a single board

Though the panic is gone

i am now offended

why should i be so helpless

rising with one wave

and falling with the next

I don't know

if i am

nonexistence

while i exist

but i know for sure

when i am

i am not

but

when i am not

then i am

Now how can i be

a skeptic

about the

resurrection and

coming to life again

Since in this world

i have many times

like my own imagination

died and

been born again

That is why

after a long agonizing life

as a hunter

i finally let go and got

hunted down and became free

Ghazal 1419 Translated by Nader Khalili

A Gift Is A Gift

She doesn´t have to tell me her stories to let me know what she has been through, we are not different from one another; she has feelings, and I have that too. I love to spend my time in her presence, I used to tell her how rare the moments are once we´re alone together with no interruption from the outside world. It´s a privilege and should be enjoyed to the most. When she is off guard, I would steal a glance and lock myself into her gaze, and I could see what is hidden there behind those mysterious eyes.

Shhs, don´t tell her! She is not suppose to know that I wish the same for her, as she wish for herself. Oh, don´t bother to ask, her wish, it´s a secret that she would never tell. How do I know about her secret? To be honest, I don´t know. I assume, that she has a reason to keep it to herself, all I know is that it belongs to her and its hers all alone. Why must I make a fuss and demand to know something I already know?

When she talks and tells me her fairytales, I´m all ears, listening attentively to everything she says. I would nod and smile, and other times I would get upset and surprised!

These men, why didn´t they appreciate her devotion? Didn´t they understand she´s most beautiful when she´s free and wild? It´s absurd to think she has to be controlled and suffocate her with compromises and rules. And how could they avoid to look into her eyes and see her longing for a sacred union? Didn´t they look past her fierce act? Didn´t they understand, it´s her armour she wears to protect herself. Oh, yes, she´s strong, there´s no doubt about that, but she´s still a little girl who is easily bruised and hurt at heart. Did they, somehow mistaken her kindness for weakness?

Why didn´t they respect her space when she really needs it without fussing and fighting, and blame her for being cold and careless? Don´t they know? She cares too much without realizing that she does? It´s the world she carries on her shoulders, oh my, I wonder if she knows. Sigh, how can they possibly demand to deserve her at her best, when they couldn´t handle her when she´s at her worst? Why are they so wishy-washy when they suppose to be men who leads the way and knows her worth?

But what do I know. I´m only a woman, or more like a wombman. I am without strength to carry her on my arms, or brave enough to protect her from highway man. What can I do, when all I do is to love. My love can´t wipe away her tears or carry her burden, it can´t do a thing, when she doesn´t want to receive it, I know, its useless to use force against her precious heart. I refuse to use force against her will. That´s not how I love and surely not something I would be proud of doing.

All these things I could have done for her, and more by being her devotee, the only thing left is to pray to God; let her meet someone who knows her worth and have ambitions to rebuild this world. Let him be a fair man with justice and elegance. Let him be diplomatic and wise beyond his years. Let him seek not to hurt but to mend broken hearts and kindle a spark in peoples dream, and mostly hers, when she sees no other way to make her dream come true.

Let him be of air to cool her temper down, and makes summer breeze in her winter heart. Let him be brave enough to be himself, and sees past her human heart. Because this man must know what lies in there and seize the moment, to give her courage to be who she is meant to be, a Divine being with much love to share. Let him see the comedy in every drama, so he can uplift her spirit and ease her fear.

You thought I gave up my devotion and flee to someone else? No, that would be to risky, I wouldn´t want her to loose another person who loves her for who she is. I´ll be her devotee in another way. There´re many ways to love, and love has many ways to express itself, but giving up is not an option.

I write all this, but I´m none of this. Here take my job as her devotee, but don´t mistake this for work, it´s not work only pleasure, to love such a precious soul as hers. Don´t misunderstand me, I haven´t resigned and quit being her devotee, why would I quit, I love her can´t you see? But the gift I gave her has been returned back to me.

A gift is a gift, she´s free to do whatever she wants with it, but a gift returned is a gift without purpose and has no value to neither her or me. But I don´t have a heart to throw it away. Alas, I decide to keep it safe, inside my heart, and hope that some day, far into the future or maybe in another lifetime where we cross each others path, and I surely, without a doubt will likely fall in love with her again, offer my gift once again.

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Her Presence

I adore her. I don’t know if she knows that I see her with admiration. I love the way she presents herself. She is quite young, but wise for her age. There is something about her that I cant tell. She’s a rebel and quite unique in a non-flashy way. Oh, don’t take me wrong, she dresses very well, you would be stunned by her looks. It’s how she carries herself that you will be amazed at. I love the way she walks and talks. She seems like she is never in a hurry, she moves with such grace and style. She is well protected inside her opal blue and pink crystal rose-bud. She has not blossomed yet, but there is no need to hurry her, she’s best when she can take her time and bloom. You know the petals? Yes, they’re surrounding her, caressing her in a non-protective way. She is free, but it seems like she is in a maze of frustration, maybe she misunderstood the petals for being too strict against her body?

I'm not sure if she knows that the weight she carries on her shoulders is too heavy for even her. She once told me that it's something about her age. She is free to explore her options and be silly. Oh, you know that teenage rebellion stage she's in. She is self willed, but keeps her manners like royalty. Yes in my eyes, she deserves the title of queen, but she must first claim her throne. She's a princess and deep down she knows it, but if I tell her that, she will problably refuse it with a polite smile. As wise as I am, but foolish in her presence, I keep quiet and act as if she already agress with my treatment. She was made a princess and soon to be the Queen. Because you know; she deserves it after all. I treat her with respect and honor, and she knows it, but don´t mistakes me for being a servant, even though I might served her well. I am nothing but hers devotee, for her presence keeps me alive, you see?

- Crystallized ƸӜƷ

Veien Mot Fred

"Peace comes from within, do not seek it without."

- Buddha.

Det var en tid, jeg trodde ved å gjøre noe for noen er det som føre meg til min egen lykke og tilfredstillelse.

Og det var en tid, jeg trodde ved å anstrenge meg til å gjøre noe er den riktige måten å oppnå målet mitt på, men den tiden er over nå.

Det er ved å ikke anstrenge meg, men å overgi meg selv til å ikke "gjøre" noe for noen at jeg befinner meg i en tilstand der jeg lytter til mitt eget hjerte og blir inspirert til å gjøre visse handlinger.

Jeg gleder meg over det som skjer selv om det hele bare er et mysterie for meg. Hvordan livet mitt utfolder seg er akkurat slik jeg ønsker at det skal være.

Jeg er trygt og elsket, og det er ikke fordi jeg har funnet et spesifikk menneske til å ha et forhold med, men fordi jeg aksepterer meg selv akkurat slik jeg er.

Det handler ikke om velge et bestemt menneske å elske, men å elske meg selv først og fremst, det å elske alle aspektene ved meg selv og heale alle de sårene jeg har, at jeg kan begynne å elske alt og alle som krysser min vei ubetinget og uten at Egoet kommer i veien for å prøve å "gjøre" noe for å få anerkjennelse.

Jeg har ingen rett til å belære noen noe når jeg selv ikke er det jeg sier, men for øyeblikket er jeg. Akkurat slik jeg alltid har ønsket å være; Åpen og ærlig og trygt på livet.

Hvis livet ikke var en lek, hva er vitsen med å leve da? Hvis vi alle kunne ha fred i sinnet, ville jeg virkelig tro at verden hadde vært en bedre plass å leve i. Og er ikke det hva vi alle vil ha, fred?

For det er akkurat den veien jeg har valgt å gå; veien mot fred, i mitt indre.