Chaos Before Peace

There are things that we can't control in life, and why should we try? Why can't we just let it flow as it wants, let the chaos subside by itself while we maintain a peaceful mind and a calm pose.

These days has been hard on me. Suddenly I become fearful to swallow food. It just came from nowhere even though I have had it before. But it struck me hard in the last few weeks. It's hard to explain this fear and phobia to my family and friends. They are supportive and wants the best for me, but some of them can't understand what I'm going through. That's fair enough, I can't expect them to understand when they haven't experience what I'm going through.

I can't stress this enough, but please, don't try to know it all when you haven't actually walk in the person's shoes. You don't really know how painful and distress it is when you have never gone through it. Be supportive as much as you can. Give them space and let them proceed in their own pace. A warm hug, a smile and a clap on the shoulder gives them the hope to try harder on winning the game between the fear and the joy they'll experience when they finally can let go of theirs anxiety.

I tell you this, it's because I'm going through it now as I mention above.

I appreciate the tips and support I can get from all of you. Just give me tips on how I can overcome this, I do try my best to eat, even though the anxiety of swalloing food is big, I still try.

I haven't write in a long while now. Part is because I don't have so much inspiration, and the other part is because I'm finally free for emotional pain. Well, maybe not totally free, but I'm out of the winter long depression. I don't cry that easily over my past any longer.

I have tried to practies many methods I have learn from books I have read, and I find myself stronger than before. Those methods help in some degree. While I still work hard to maintain my peace and happiness and to be a better person than I was.

I hope those who read my blogs find themselv and truly understand the love that the Universe is giving to us.

Åpenhet

Hvis jeg visste at det kommer en dag der jeg måtte gi slipp på deg, hadde jeg ikke kastet bort tiden med å dagdrømme. Jeg ville gjort mitt beste å skape mest mulig minner med deg. Livet er for kort, selv om det virker som vi kommer til å leve for evig. Så klart, sjelen vil aldri dø, men det livet vi har her nå er det eneste vi har. 

Vi trenger å sette mer pris på de menneskene vi har rundt oss. Noen forhold varer ikke livet ut, de endre seg med tiden, men likevel er de verdt å huske på, for de har gitt oss så mye å lære om. 

Når vi kommer i kontakt med et annet menneske må vi huske å ha et åpen sinn. Vi trenger å tre inn i forholdet uten fordommer slik at vi ikke går glipp av deres kjerne. Den godheten som vi alle besitter ligger dypt inn i oss. Selv om vi ikke kan beholde kontakten er det ikke en ende. Gir dem en mulighet til å savne deg, og gi slipp på dem. Noen forhold varer som en årstid, mens andre varer livet ut. 

Livet er som en mysterie, du vet aldri hvem som kommer og hvem som går ut av livet ditt. Du vet aldri hva som kan skje med deg, du kan ha det bra det ene øyeblikket og dårlig i neste. Uansett hvordan livet utfolde seg, vil du alltid møte på nye mennesker som kanskje får deg til å se ting annerledes, men om du møter noen mennesker som ikke resonnere med din energi, kan du sende dem kjærlighet og gå videre med livet ditt.

Vi trenger ikke alltid forklare oss selv for noen, la det heller være en hemmelighet hvis det er negativt det vi vil si.

Finding The Light

I sat down trying to come up with something to write, but it doesn't flow as easily as it used to. My fingers froze and my mind went blank. I think it is because I'm at peace with myself and no longer hear the chattering in my mind. I'm so far ahead with being zen like that things like thoughts doesn't come up as much as it used to. 

All I could think of at night was: when will I end up in a relationship? how would it be like? would anyone wants me and when will my psychic abilities blossom. Actually, those things isn't as important as my spiritual evolution. But I couldn't help but to think of those things. 

I've grown with the years that gone by. I'm not acting as if life happens to me, I'm living the way that is less struggling. I don't struggle to be happy or satisfied, because I know that living is being. Being peaceful, being joyful, being goddess-like. 

God taught me to live from the heart, and he taught me well, because things comes easily when I'm not trying to be nice. Because when you try to be nice you are trying to get acceptance from others and trying to please them. Kind people are not afraid to say no. Frankly, I've learned to say no, and it is not to be mean or anything, but it is very important to set boundaries so that other people could respect you. I accept myself for who I am and hope that others do that with themselves as well. 

I haven't cried a single tear since... I don't even remember when it was the last time I cried. But there isn't anything that moves me enough to make me cry. I want to cry happy tears, I want to feel the joy of knowing myself. The question: "who am I", lingers on my mind. It has been put away behind the back of my head for so long. I put it in the box where I hidden it away and now I'm taking it out so the light could shine on it and maybe the light can help me to make sense of it. 

Where there is light, darkness is no more. 

I want to go home, go back home to the far away galaxy, back to the place where I belong and remember my true self again and then - I want to remember who I am once again.