Spirit

So who am I? I can not consider myself a bitch because I'm too gentle and afraid to hurt people's feelings. I am like the sun rays, trying to make people happy. I used to go to the extreme to please everyone that cross my path or just people in my life that I consider important, but this is no longer who I am. It's not that I don't care, I just understand that I can't satisfied everyone that come my way. I have grown from the depression. The rebellious phase is over, I don't argue when my mom said something that I feel is wrong, I don't say that I agree with everything she said, but I understand how important love is than arguing. I'm diplomatic, I never raise my voice when I'm angry. I keep my silence and trying to re-think and find a solution to the problem. 

I'm not religious, I don't believe in a God that punish you whenever you make a mistake, I don't read the bible, or nor do I believe in what it says there. I believe in the Spirit that flows freely between life to life. Spirit that inhale and exhale us into existent, Spirit that make us feels alive. 

I'm not these words, I can undress myself with words, but in the end, it's the Spirit that dressed me up with personality and character. Spirit make it possible for me to keep going with my life. I can remain unafraid of life, living like I've never been hurt, there're many things that I can, but one thing is for sure, I can't live without the spirit. 

Spirit is my existent, I am the Spirit. That's who I am. Now and forever.

Love Is What You Are

Every now and then I think about leaving my house to go somewhere, I end up staying at home. It’s a comfy place I would not leave because all the memories about home made me feel alive. I don’t say that I never got out of this place, not because I wouldn’t but because there’re so many other memories attached all around the city that made me crave to feel happier. The happiest place for me now is my bed. I sleep there. And I love to sleep. But there’re of course many other things that I love as well. For example a long walk by myself or conversations over a cup of coffee with my best friend. Wherever I go I leave a mark, the marks that will attached to my heart and soul so I will never forget how I end up living at home with my family.

All my life I have been wandering around trying to seek for true love, the search went far and I haven’t found that yet. But after going through some major crisis in life I figure out that true love is something you are not something you find.