Goodbye

She came and claim her place in my heart, and while I let her stay there inside my chest, I learned to let go. Because her staying wasn't for eternity, she decided once again to leave me like I was a joke. It wasn't funny though and I wish she would think differently, but her insecurity took a hold of her and she went away like she has never arrived. 

Was it her who left me or was it me who chased her away? The questions still linger on my mind and I felt like I become a different person in her eyes, a stranger. We were lover, then we become friends, but now we are two strangers who never look the same way or walk the same path. I don't understand her thinking and she couldn't understand mine. Would the love I have for her bring her back once again, or would it turn sour and bitter? Would the place in my chest become whole again or would it remains a hole that would never covered up? 

What would I do if I meet her on the street? Would it be ok to greet her with a smile? Or maybe she would walk past me without looking at my face.

The past can't be re-written. She has made a descision and I had to let her decide for herself. I wasn't surprised by her action, because it happens way to often. She is like that. Her head is full of things she regrets. Way more than I do. And this one made her miserable. The least thing I can do for her, is to release her from this pain of remebring her past mistake with me. It's sad though, because it wasn't a mistake for me to be her lover. I was her lover until recently, and I thought I would stay that way and still protect our friendship from afar. Now, she gets what she want. A zonefree atmosphere without me in her life. 

She left with a goodbye note last night. It was certainly our last farewell. I wish it was our first hello.